The veiled, venomous viper that crawls through my mind
and sprawls in kind,
looks in hind-
sight, or not.
Perhaps it's blind
The dripping poison denies, destroys all i seemed to know.
I may stand tall
but i fall
reflected in the eyes of many.
It's slow
I know
It grows and grows
and grows.
...
I don't know.
Because i just don't.
Your scaly, reptile tail envelops,
suffocates me
as is your wont
I feel hollow,
Shallow.
Should i just hang myself? how many will attend
the gallows?
Stomach clenches, drenches
with sweat,
Tenses
with regret.
Wherefore do i quail before your dark gaze
Glinting through the haze
Of my thoughts?
Author notes
I find it easy tow rite when you feel something. In my eyes, doubt truly is a poison, it seeps into your life gradually. I hope i managed to convey this, thanks in advance for any comments! 
A contest entry
- Frozen Sadness - xx by The Hardest Goodbye.
900 points, ended May 5, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Do you find the structure interesting? seriously, say anything that strikes you about it
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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liked it
much.It is quite true how subtle doubt is - also how it creeps in without being obvious.But like a weighted chore it pulls us down no matter the effort or the strength of our soul for it has already corrupted our mind.The drop down of the layout is effective in expressing this.
Jane
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You are right .. doubt is a poison. This was a great poem, you conveyed alot of strong emotions, great job (: Thanks for entering it in my contest
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We all suffer from doubt, god knows that I do! You expressed yourself very well here and I think I liked the layout as it made it more interesting. Well done.
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lots of alliteration in this poem i think, it flows well, not too keen on the layout, personally i prefer straight forward layouts but that's not to say the poem does not work for it does. so many people think alliteration means you have to start with the same letter etc but it is not, it means as well words that sound the same - a good poem.
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Brilliant brilliant brilliant! The structure is beautifully sustained, as is the tension of the peice. I prefer it when you leave this need to rhyme
And my favourite quote has to be: 'How many will attend the gallows?' I would! Fantastic write. Better for the changes.
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Horatio
Even though this poem does have a sad feeling to it I cant help but getting a feeling of optimisim out of it either. Doubt and Optimism are two completely different things, true, but one would not exist without the other. The referances to Reptiles I liked alot too, anything talking about mortal things like "venom", and falling and all that give the poem a natural sense.
Life is full of ups and downs, poisons and pleasures. The way I see it lets embrace it all, because the lows will feel lower if you dont enjoy the high.
You are a very good writer, I hope to see more from you soon.
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Thanks i wasn't sure if i laid it on too thick, in a way i guess i tried to make people even doubt what they were reading. If for the first time you read it you're thinking "what the hell .." or "i dont know?" then i think the message is complete but thats just me, and im the author xD
Ill be sure to return the favour soon. -
a little hard to follow the form but it's easy to agree that 'doubt' is truly a poison
Joe
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