BEEP
"Ambulance Emergency."
(This is Inverness connecting telephone number ....)
"Thank you. Hello caller, where do you want the ambulance to come to?"
- My house. -
"And where would that be?"
- Eh? Oh, er, in Essex. -
"Right, do you want to give me the address Sir?"
- Oh right. Erm, it's 24, ----------- Rd W--------. -
"Thank you. And what seems to be the problem."
- Well, it's Bert you see. He won't eat his dinner. -
"Right, and that's a problem because...?"
- Well, it's not good for him is it? Cats need their food, after all. -
"I'm sorry? Your cat? Do you realise what number you've dialled Sir? This is an emergency services number, and you're through to the ambulance service. Perhaps you should call the vet?"
- Eh? Oh. Erm, well he won't eat his food and I think he's starving to death. -
[Sigh] "Well, how long has it been since he last ate?"
- Oh, about an hour ago. -
"And you're feeding him again?"
- Well, yeah. Isn't that what you're supposed to do? -
"Well, I'm hardly an expert but I don't think cats need feeding that often."
- Well, how often should I be feeding it then? -
"Look, you're holding up an emergency line. I really can't be giving you advice on how to feed your cat. How long have you had it?"
- Fifteen years. -
"Well, excuse my arrogance Sir, but if you don't know how to feed him now, after fifteen years of keeping him, I can only suggest one thing."
[Getting excited] - Oh really? What's that? -
"Take him to the Cat Shelter and leave him there. Goodbye Sir!"
- But... -
(BRRRRRRRRRRRRR)
Author notes
Inspired by a contest I've just entered into. We get a lot of very silly calls at work. As a break from all the angst, I'll give you a tasty tidbit every once in a while. Enjoy!
Written February 28th, 2004
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1 - 6 of 6
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LOL
yeah there are stoopid people everyhwere unfortunately!!
this reminds me of that joke
about how a guy calls this company or something cuz he computer is not working and at the end u find out his electricity is not even on so -_- makes you wanna kill someone...but hey you do work in the emergency ambulancy business thingy so you can always transport them to hospital as soon as you have placed their innards all over the place!
i think. -
I think you and my daughter should get together, she's in Inforamtion Technology and she gets calls about cats too. Usually though they say things like my cat's sitting on my computer blocking my screen. Can you tell me how to get him off. This piece is delightful in its reality and presentation.
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Lol it must be hell trying to keep a serious tone with these kind of callers.
WE WANT MORE! -
This was funny...I love reading little anecdotes about silly phone calls to 911 or Microsoft customer service or such. Funny poem...
~Anastasia -
oww! Poor cat owner. This is really cool. Nice backround. Well TTYL
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Hmm. I'm a little confused as to why some of this has appeared in bold. That wasn't intentional, before any of you ask!
Ah, sorted.
Edited on Feb 28, 5:08 p.m. because 'I figured out what I'd done wrong. Such a plonker.'.
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