I was only 6 years old when I fell into his lap
-Into his trap.
I was young and he was wrong
But least important are the facts.
So I closed both of my eyes
And quickly learned
You can't go back.
...
And after Daddy said to me,
"If I swear to hold you tight
Will you promise you won't cry?
That maybe you'll believe my lies?
If I swear to hold you closely
That you'll keep those sad eyes dry?"
And I wanted to say yes
But I looked down at my dress
And the blood-
I was mess.
All I wanted was his love
- But I could've done with less.
...
And then I woke up in a panic
-I was in someone else's hold.
And the love she'd tucked around me
Was keeping out the cold.
So I shook her gently, waking her,
Found my voice
And told.
Author notes
Kind of weird, and all scrambled because I couldn't work it out in my head.
I'm going to have to come back to it.
Let Me Know
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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horrific
Babydoll this cut deep brings back memories that i didnt want back but there here now i know what happened to me its hard to deal with you never get over it you just learn to live with it "All I wanted was his love
- But I could've done with less." i was four when it started i didnt understand until i got older it ended when i was 14 its scary its hard and i hate to think about it and who else has been through the same and worse i am glad you are putting it into words its a great way to learn to deal with it great write i think its perfect the way it is but if you feel it needs to be added to or rearrange then go for it ......
with great love
Kadi
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beautiful love finished or not i like it... its hurts me to read this it puts things in perspective. throught the pain though you managed to write something amazing!!!
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sad
when I think about the things that some evil men do it makes fear for my children.you may not have writen as well as you wanted to but you still got the point across.somethings are so ugly you just cant make them sounde pretty with any words.
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"All I wanted was his love
- But I could've done with less."
;hugs; I've had some experience with this kind of 'love.' I'm sorry you've gone through this, but I'm proud you've found the strength to write about it and to tell someone. It's been said that sharing it with someone is the first step in the healing process.
I think the disjointed writing adds to the feel and the form, it gives it more of a childlike pen, like a girl wrote this, not a woman.
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Mia this was heartwrenching.
I hate when you write about what happened with your dad.
Not because it's bad writing, but because it reminds me that you're not my superhero, you're human too.
This was a beautiful, yet poignant poem. [WHOAH BIG WORD!]
I love you MiaBoo<3 -
hum. despite what other people say, i think you should edit it a bit. i mean, its good in this raw form, but like you said, its a bit scrambled.
on a less critical note, the poem was very good. and very sad. it makes me sick to think of child/sexual abuse. and it makes me feel lucky that it never happened to me when i was that young.
stay strong.
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Wow this made me cry, then made me angry then made me cry again. I'm so sorry that this happened to you. I don't think you need to edit it either, it's perfectly written at the moment.
The rhyme was very clever and I liked it how you wrote it as if a child again. This gave great emotional depth to it and made me cry even more.
Great write!
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yeah don't edit it. I like it the way it is. With me the same thing happen with my grandpa and why you depict my scrambled up thoughts in such a perfect manner.
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honestly, i don't think you should edit it either.
i think the thoughts being scrambled adds to the effect of the poem. because most people can't handle stuff like that, most people can't tell. and when they do, it comes out scrambled. at least, in my case, and my experience.
*hugs*
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I think this is a crime that should be punishable by death or life in prison. Pedofiles are a serious offense and I can't stand the men, even women, who do it to children, and then think that it is okay. IT WILL NEVER BE OKAY!!! even though you feel it's scrambled, I understood the message you were trying to say, and I like this poem because it shows the pain in few words, and you know that it's not fake. It makes me want to cry.
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There are so many people out there who experienced this but not all of them know how to let it out.
I admire people like you, who would let it out in words that are true enough to touch other's heart, not to feel your wounds but to let someone heal it.
I just wish that you never see suicide or any type of self-injuring techniques to be one of your resorts, cause writing such a very honest and powerful poem, would not only move your heart and soul to recovery but also, you may also help others too having the same case as yours.
I could see the confusion, but it is a confusion wrapped in a perfect style. That is because, many poet wold write something else, I mean a kind of metaphor or any sort of imagery, but this one is something raw, something done impromptu, but a very good one at that...
Lastly, I would like to share something to you to read on, this would help you a lot, I know...
Revelations 21:4
a perfect verse for such agony...
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truly thought provoking
Wonderful....I dont think you should edit this...I found it perfect.I am sorry for the pain that you had to endure,but writing helps to get it out and is a very positive outlet. Great work.
-Megan
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I agree no need to go back to it... if it feels a little strange to you it is because you lived it... you go your confusion, pain, and hurt out in this very descriptive write. Excellent I say. Keep up the writing. It does help to get the pain out.
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no need to come back to this it was decet full and dangerus beautifuly written great work and keep it up -bows- good work
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Writing is a great way to work things out. I do it a lot. It does make sense and I hope you don't change it...
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I think this is excellent and makes sense in its order. So happy you are using your words to recover.
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