All the joy that was you
in my life
just shattered into a million fragmented pieces
when I saw you place that gorgeous
diamond ring upon her finger.
It was then
that I saw you smile
like you had never smiled
when you and I were together.
It was then that I knew
that all the passionate nights we had spent together
all those promises given,
those memories shared,
all the love given and received were lies.
I should have known
that you,
my dear dear one
were to good to be true.
And now,
my tears
they fall like the falling rain
and while I can never
ever forgive you your lies
I can wish you happiness
if only someone
anyone
would wish me the same.
Author notes
title prompt: Locked in your lies for friends of trekkergirls group trekkergirl... option #4 and #6 one is a poem that I liked and the other is about love. I think this poem fits both options okay.
name is t r e k k e r g i r l
In a list
- So you want comments group list • next in list
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A contest entry
- ~Anything And Everything~ by Captain Jenny.
1030 points, ended April 1, 54 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I'm Crazy....but OH WELL!!! PREWRITE CONTEST!!!! by Kathraina.
575 points, ended April 18, 296 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - xx Short Poems. May The Best ShortWrite Win! xx by xxRainbowDawnxx.
700 points, ended March 31, 103 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewite Contest by T.o.r.t.u.r.e..
475 points, ended April 2, 94 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I WANT ANYTHING! by Umi Juvariel.
4300 points, ended April 9, 369 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 39 of 39
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go head girl ok ok i feel you what is great is the first line was a catcher like this is going to be good i like the flow the word choice the meaning behind the peice and the ending was nice was well good wor
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Sad poem, but this is very true indeed. It happens more times than it should. Thank you for sharing and Excellent write, good luck in my contest.
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I'm not sure... something just didn't click with this poem.
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Well said...well done
This is a heartfelt sad write on a subject I know very well...
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this poem is really very good. i really like the way that you capture the essence of sorrow in her heartbreak.
My favorite lines:
"I should have known
that you,
my dear dear one
were to good to be true."
Great write. Thank you for entering and good luck in the contest
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if you would please space your name out in your AN like this : X x D r o w n . M e . D r y X x . Just out a space between each of your letters. Please. If you chose not to thats fine but i would like you you give me a reason.
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Oh my, this is so incredibly sad!
Great raw emotion here, and brilliant imagery.
Bravo!!!
♥ Kate -
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thanks for commenting on my poem. I do appreciate it and i am glad that you liked it.
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Oh, this is a beautiful poem! I can imagined how you're feeling cause I've been tricked by someone I loved, too. Just believe you'll find happiness one day.
Nela
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thanks for commenting on my poem. I am glad that you liked it.
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oh dear god "i wish you happieness!" wholly crap with the emotion you almost brought tears to my deserted eyes!
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I am glad that my poem affected you in this way. Thanks for commenting
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thanks glad u liked the poem
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this is sad..but a great write
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i know and can relate to this poem. my ex did this and the funny thing is, is that when she married the guy, she did it to spite me and make me jealous but it backfired. and i wished her the best and turned my back on her. when i looked back she could have cried but she turned to change her expression and thoughts. and happy to say that was the last time i ever seen her. my life is better. great piece
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I felt the heartache in this piece. the let down and dissappointment...betrayal. great piece.
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So sad, I really liked the ending lines very meaningful ending. I loved this wonderful job. Good luck in the contest!
Blessings,
~Michaela~
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A very sad write. It has so much emotion... Thanks so much for entering
~Lae
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Nice!
Great reed I felt this pain as i read
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I liked this, how, without rhyme you wove together words to make it so that the point got across and was beautifully heartbreaking
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I don't care for a lot of rhymes tends to make the poem seem forced to me. Thanks for commenting on this poem of mine
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I liked this a lot. well done poet
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beautiful poem i can totally relate to ... no matter how much you thought you'd moved on!
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Oh sweeti, I gasped reading this. I know how it feels and it shakes you to your very core. Very well penned, dear.
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This is so touching, forgiving and heartfelt. It is not easy to let go, and even harder to forgive. The sadness of it all is when you wish well and forgive.. and it is not reciprocated. I hope that this is not a reflection of what you may be going through. This is a wonderfully penned writ, and I thank you for sharing
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A beautiful heartfelt poem
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glad that you liked it. Thanks for commenting
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I love the word fragmented ... much, much better
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thanks for your help. I appreciate it.
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I should have known
that you,
my dear dear one
was to good to be true
The only suggestion I can make is that 'was' should possible be "were'
Sad poem
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okay I changed that and a few things in the first stanza. Thanks for the suggestion.
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you see I wondered about that myself... but I always have trouble with tenses.
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look up synonyms for jagged in your thesaurus ... rhymezone is good. It gives words like crooked, zigzag, uneven, ... lots of synonyms.
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okay check it now. See if you like it better.
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Ouch! I've been there. Excellent work in showing how deep the scars can truly go. I do wish you the same happiness you deserve.
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Wow, this is so sad! What a terrible realization to find the one that you love betraying you in this way. Wonderful work as always my friend and I am glad that you posted it here! Thanks for sharing your talent with us all here!
Jeremy0826
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this write is soaked in intensity ... as I read this, I was cringing because of the sharp pain this expresses.
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filled with feeling and charged emotionally. I think you might mean jagged and not jaggered though in L5
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okay changed to jagged but still not sure if I wanna use that word. May change it yet.
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