In morning embrace, thy kiss 'tween,
Loving shamrock, all dress'd in green,
While in twilight, fair one will shine;
A morning dove, sweetest of mine!
In morning embrace, upon thy cheek,
Before the dawn, kisses I seek;
For thy lips are soft, as you shine,
A dewy pearl, sweetest of mine!
In morning embrace, sadly crowned
Behold thy shamrock on the ground,
And oh, I lost a love so fine,
A shattered love, sweetest of mine!
A contest entry
- Amaranthine Lover's Getting Rid of Some Points! by amaranthine lover.
1750 points, ended April 22, 33 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Your Best Rhymes by Fire-Fly.
400 points, ended April 18, 35 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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a good poem, ah love, it is wavy at times, leaving us a little green when the morning arrives to claim us.
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15.9/25
This was nicely done, the rhythm was good. But. But this held no spark of originality for me because everyone else writes pieces like this. It's your job as the writer to spin us, the reader, something new and exciting, and if you can't take us their with your words, then perhaps you should not consider doing rhyme. -
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It isn't constructive to tell someone they should not consider doing rhyme unless it has that 'new and exciting' appeal ...what is this a fashion contest?
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If you can't see any originality then that is your loss, not mine.
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Then why do you ask for what people think if you cannot take constructive criticism? You're contradicting yourself.
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Lovely poem, enjoyed reading. Good rhyme and structure. Well done.
Thanks for entering and good luck in my contest.
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last line took my breaths away
nicer way to slow poison someone
well penned
thanks for sharing
by
the poet of hearts and beautiful words
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and a irish blussing for you to my friend.
may your cup ever be full may the roof over your head always be strong and may you be in heven a half an hour before the devil knows your dead.
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