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Sanctuary

Crying prisms
of hope,
the dark whispers
of the cross
welcome
dying thoughts
About dust
and sorrow
Welcome destiny
where the birds
circle mortal thoughts
and beckon
a new tomorrow.

Author notes

http://pixievamp.deviantart.com/art/Her-Painful-Memories-113935714

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • xxRainbowDawnxx
    October 26
    Edit | Reply
    .


  • Swan song gold member
    September 1

    Edit | Reply
    i like this poem the flow the imagery it does however make me wonder if it wold not have been more effective broken into stanzas just a thought Thank you


  • SouthpawGA
    March 17
    Edit | Reply

    Taking advice

    Well I took the advice given (it's always a good thing to take advice when it's given over and over!!! LOL) I changed the poem, hopefully for the better.


  • islekine gold member
    March 17

    Edit | Reply

    This is a winner for sure!

    I agree, though capping the beginning of each line disrupts a very very lovely flow!
    Well penned!
    Best wishes in the contest and always! Write on and on!


  • Kari gold member
    March 17

    Edit | Reply
    This is a really good poem, and I do agree with Kat's suggestion. I use to do the same thing but stopped because it annoyed not only other ppl but it started bugging me later as well! Lol.
    Overall though the poem is really good

  • I like this poem a lot. I do have a suggestion for you though. there isn't a need to capitalize the beginning letter of a word in each sentence, it disrupts the flow a bit.

    good luck
    kat

    • SouthpawGA
      March 17
      Edit | Reply
      thanks for the kind words.....I'm not sure if you mean I should not capitalize any of the lines, or just some... Generally, when writing poetry, you cap the first letter in a line, or none. I chose the former. I hope this doesn't mean I can't win.

      • I'm not feeling well tonight,... so if I didn't say right I'm sorry.. I was taught when writing poetry you don't capitalize every line.

1 - 8 of 8