the moon swam in
sticky shadows, tar ghosts
shivering against our backs,
and I tapped my fingers in
river rhythms to remind
your pulse of its
purpose.
.
In a list
A contest entry
- Nighttime Quickie With Prompt Pre-loaded. by Cerulean Sunrise.
700 points, ended March 16, 8 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Quickie-ish? by thegirlsafaultline..
400 points, ended March 31, 12 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Comments Contest Version 2.0 by Bean Sidhe.
700 points, ended April 3, 20 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - SHORT PREWRITES! QUICKIE! by ItaloEtkin.
870 points, ended April 8, 98 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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really enjoyed this. have I met you before?
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Beautiful.
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Very Nice
This is a nice write. Your descriptions are lovely and the flow is very nice. Its short but full of purpose. Very nice job and thanks for entering! -
Wow Wow Wow This is such a wonderfully awsome poem. I can see how you won while reading your poem.
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wow.
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Oh wow, this is beautiful and meaningful. Great job. The images were wonderful and I was sucked right on in. Good luck and thanks for entering.
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i don't think i can formulate words to describe my reaction to this poem.
i loved it.
sticky shadows and tar ghosts were such unique images. but honestly. all of it worked beautifully.
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You have quite a gift for creating beautiful pictures with words. I love the images of tar ghosts and river rhythms. There is a subtle taste of alliteration, which happens to be my favorite poetic device, and you have used it in a very inconspicuous way within the lines of this piece.
At first reading, I was surprised by the abrupt ending but as I read it again & truly digested the words individually, it would seem a crime to have gone on any further. It would have weighed the poem down in a negative nature.
Last but certainly not least, I love the movement of the poem - the unusual formatting and simple background speak of a true poet. I find myself envious as I see you are only 17! To have had such skill at such a young age - ach!
Thank you very kindly for allowing me the privilege of reading your work. Good luck in the contest!
-Bean -
This piece had a soft quality about it, like the fog of lazy clouds sleeping on a mountain. I enjoyed your alliteration and you flow in this piece. They were tranquil yet strong. Excellent write and good luck in my contest.
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oh wow. this is just... wow. i wasn't expecting it to end so soon, but its perfect.
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ooooh
'river rhythms' love that alliteration and that image in general haha.
i cant even find the words to describe the beauty of your writing. it's flawless.
i love it sooo much
congrats on silver <3 -
woah.
i think there is no other word to describe your poetry- it's fizzzy drinks and fireworks.
it's the best thing on a friday night, trust me.
PS: expect a few more woahs.
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Geez.
I don't even have words.
This was great.
Good luck(: -
and I tapped my fingers in
river rhythms to remind
your pulse of its
purpose.
okay wow.
this is a maroon-ish colour in my opinion,
mainly because it reminds me of a boy that reminds me of the colour red.
those last four lines are beautiful. and i don't use that word lightly. -
now that is a poem. this gave me a short in take of breath at the end. i love it
im a nut for night time poems or anything to do with the moon and i think you did this elequently <3 keep it up!
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"to remind
your pulse of its
purpose."
love this wonderful poetry..
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to remind
your pulse of its
purpose.
-oh god, i am still struggling to find how it is you can pull such amazing words off. I am speechless
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wow
*reads again*
Thanks for writing. -
oooooooooo.
sorry for the suckish comment, but i've got last-minute homework to finish. DX
great job.
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brilliant
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