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I just wanna forget...

Its to late to apologize.
The damage is done.
I cant forgive you.
I try and try but the memories never leave.
How could you do that?
Why did you wanna leave us that bad?
Did we make you that angry?
Im sorry if I did this.
Im sorry I couldn’t do anything.
I was only 8 but its my fault.
I should have been good.
I could have been better.
I should have done what I was told.
Im sorry. I was just a kid.
You blame it on dad.
Said he made your life hell.
But you made the choice.
And ill never forget that.
Ill never forget what you did.
Cause ill never understand.
I remember everything.
The yelling and the tears.
You locking yourself in the bathroom.
The phone call to the police.
Seeing you leave in the ambulance.
To get your stomach pumped.
But you deny it now.
Are you ashamed? 
It wasn’t the only time either.
But you deny the other time too.
I remember that day also.
Coming home.
Seeing you so out of it.
Sitting at the kitchen table.
Did you even know who I was?
Another ride in an ambulance.
Do you remember that?
I do, and ill never forget.
It still haunts me to this day.
Im scared it was my fault.
But its to late to apologize.
The damage is done.
I cant forgive you.

Author notes

Decided to keep it against my better judgement..

A contest entry

What do you think?

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Comments

1 - 7 of 7
  • Poetryintheblood gold member
    May 20
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for your entry, good luck in my contest, Josie

  • piccola silver member
    March 31

    Edit | Reply
    because of personal circumstances, this is very hard for me to read. It is almost a letter to someone. Your hurt and anger comes across very well.


  • St. Anarchy
    March 18

    Edit | Reply

    Good

    Thanx for the comment! If i can give u advice though, i would say: *get an idea u want to write about *forget about yourself and your feelings when you write(unless you are writing about yourself) *write from the heart and EXPERIMENT but it was a good poem... It reminds me of my earlier stuff;-) P.S. My tips wernt all specific to your poem


  • Karayan
    March 17

    Edit | Reply
    Wow... this is a very powerful piece. Thank you for entering the contest. I agree with the other commentors, I wouldnt delete it.


  • CherokeeSiren
    March 17
    Edit | Reply
    I wouldn't delete it, it's beatuiful. and it wasn't your fault you did nothing wrong.


  • Frances Nightengale
    March 16

    Edit | Reply
    Hannah, wow. I'm sorry some people just don't live up to what they should be. It's not your fault. You did nothing wrong. (That person) obviously has some problems that she/he needs to work through. I pray things get better. I know this gets to you. But I believe things will get better. Please know that I am here for you. I know I'm just a stranger, and not much older than you, but I seem to have this knack for helping when I think I'm needed. You're stronger than you think.

  • The Rainbows Mind
    March 16

    Edit | Reply
    The only way that one can successfully accept and jump the hurdle of the past is to not live in shame or to deny it. As I say to everyone, it's your life and your choice. Personally, I wouldn't delete it if I were you because this poem had a flair that I've never seen in you before. It's honest, and it comes from your soul and this is the most direct I've ever seen you. I know you are not proud of this poem or the context of what happened within it, but I am very proud of you. I am proud that you had the courage to proclaim your thoughts and feelings. I am proud that you stood up and took a position and I know that somehow you will feel better after writing this... Ok, I know schoff now, but I've had my fair share of experiences to know that what I say will probably come to pass.
    As for the context and the poem itself. It is not your fault. As I've explained to you before, you are way too hard on yourself dear. You cannot blame yourself for another's choice of action. I know it's a hard concept to grasp but there is no way that this can be your fault. I don't care what excuse you throw at me because I know it's not true and deep down, so do you. I can sense the pain and confusion dwelling beneath this poem and to a certain extent I can empathize. Through writing and the various relationships with your friends, I assure you that one day you will find clarity.
    I know this may sound cliche, but I am here. I know you only know me from our encounters online but if there is one thing you should know about me it is that I well help anyone who asks for my help.

1 - 7 of 7