In the dark abyss
Two light orbs dance
The two dance the dark away
The dark starts to fade
The abyss is on grey
One of the graceful orbs
Begin to feel sad
The sadness shown
The light orb stared at the now dimmed orb
The dimmed orb was mad
Why wasn't the other changing as well?
As the dimmed got bitter
The abyss got lighter
The dimmed orb became the dark orb
The light orb was shocked
The light was sad for the dark
So the light danced around the dark
The dark saw the light and joined
And soon enough
The dark became light again
As they dance they notice
Their colors change with the changes in the abyss
The light and the dark forever dancing
In reality,
They are Yin and Yang
Author notes
albinoblacksheep720
An albino is someone who is born without pigment in the eyes or skin, resulting in white or very light blond hair, red or very light blue eyes.
Black is the darkest colour on the colourscale.
A sheep is an animal, that goes 'ba' and incidently a phrase saying you are the 'black sheep' of the family/group means the odd one out.
720 is 360 degrees doubled. So it is 2 circles, incidently...
Prompt will be
Pigmented Circles
A contest entry
- Your Name, My Prompt (1) by xxRainbowDawnxx.
625 points, ended March 24, 33 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - You never know.... by Cyanide Dreams.
1640 points, ended May 12, 77 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Best Prewrites on Ap by Night Terrors.
400 points, ended May 25, 49 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewite Contest II by T.o.r.t.u.r.e..
480 points, ended April 20, 64 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you learn
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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This is interesting. It is interesting in that the imagery could be cleaned up a little by less repitition of certain phrases and such, but over all a good poem but slightly comfusing to read. Thank you for entering and good luck in the contest.
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Hey What a clever new way of explaining an ancient myth. I really enjoyed reading this. It was very clever and very entertaining.
The Positives:
This was cleverly discriptive and really had a great moral. I really enjoyed it.
The Negatives:
You know I don't see anything I thought this was good
My Favorite Part:
The dark saw the light and joined
And soon enough
The dark became light again
As they dance they notice
Their colors change with the changes in the abyss
The light and the dark forever dancing
In reality,
They are Yin and Yang
This really had a good ending I am very glad you entered this.
Overall:
This was a wonderful poem I really enjoyed it. I would give this a 6/10. Thanks so much for entering! I hope to see you in my future contests.
~*~Apathetic Poison~*~ -
haha, I like where you took your prompt. I must say though, that I felt that you had no metaphors or use of poetic devices anywhere in this piece. Show us, don't tell us. I did like the main idea and the message of this poem. Good job and good luck in the contest.
Josh
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i love this poem so sweet. Ying and Yang are brother and sister that are always connected together
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An albino is someone who is born without pigment in the eyes or skin, resulting in white or very light blond hair, red or very light blue eyes.
Black is the darkest colour on the colourscale.
A sheep is an animal, that goes 'ba' and incidently a phrase saying you are the 'black sheep' of the family/group means the odd one out.
720 is 360 degrees doubled. So it is 2 circles, incidently...
Prompt will be
Pigmented Circles
Adding your comment:
1 - 5 of 5
