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Haiku [1]

the moonlight
reflects in the morning dew -
mourning

Author notes

haiku form, quite obviously. lol

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 14 of 14

  • Knight70
    August 1

    Edit | Reply

    I love how you used 'mourning' as your AHA moment.

    Very well done! I love the vibrant visual. Best wishes to you in this contest with this captured moment. That is what haiku poets strive for.

    Don

  • Brian A
    April 6
    Edit | Reply
    Yes, quite...
    I liked the beautiful imagery of reflected moonlight conveyed as mourning. Also the play on homophones.
    Outside the B.S taught in high school, haikus are a form I've left mostly uncharted. I really enjoy how it makes one truly have to think about each word put into the poem. This is a question more than a correction, shouldn't a haiku convey a season? If so, which season is this?

    • haikus aren't restricted to just seasons; at least not in the ap class i'm taking. so it doesn't necessarily convey one season. but if it was supposed to.. i would make up that it conveys Fall. let's pretend it does convey fall; we are mourning the loss of warm weather. haha
      thanks for the comment =]


  • Draig aine gold member
    March 28
    Edit | Reply

    get the leap this time


  • Umi Juvariel
    March 25

    Edit | Reply
    I like the word play this had, it was brilliant while being covert. Excellent job there. Though a haiku, this stayed traditional, giving it emotion and breath and life. Excellent write and good luck in my contest.


  • Swan song gold member
    March 22

    Edit | Reply
    a clever and sad twist to this but it does create an explosion of image and the ahaa moment

    very good write indeed

  • Draig aine gold member
    March 17
    Edit | Reply

    good idea

    typo 3rd line

    • actually its supposed to be mourning. its a 'leap' haiku.

      • Draig aine gold member
        March 17
        Edit | Reply

        ok sorry

        can you explain the leap, mourning the loss of morning?

        • its not mourning the loss of morning persay;
          its the moon going down in the morning, which represents moving on and started over, as the sun rising does. something has happened and now time is moving on, but there is still mourning of whatever happened.
          something like that

          • Draig aine gold member
            March 18
            Edit | Reply

            ah yes

            a very good ah ha, sorry for my slowness, just missed the boat so to speak

            • lol it is no problem we all have our moments, plus i don't mind explaining my poems.


  • Simply Olivia
    March 16
    Edit | Reply
    Great!

1 - 14 of 14