The musty odor of creatures long gone
Still lingers in this place
Quiet now, its poor inhabitants
Exited from this unholy space
The groans and screams of misery
Amidst the dust and grime
All muted by death and sadness
Of lives torn from out of time
The castle long ago was reclaimed
By King Hugh, strong and kind
No beatings, tortures in his plans
He was of a much gentler mind
But now the nights are haunted by
The childish whimpering moans
As heard through the halls and byways
Where this little girl roams
No chains or dragging footsteps here
Just whimpers throughout the night
And the sobs of this lonely child
Calling ‘Mamma’, no one answers her plight
If the story true were told
If the dungeon keeper had not died
This lonely little girl would be
Happy with her Mamma by her side
When the castle was owned by
A king of greed and hate
The dungeon keeper was for awhile
Happy with his child and mate
But alas, those days came to an end
When the evil king did bid
That the keeper be put to death
To keep his master’s secrets hid
His mate ran to his aid, to help
Defend her lover’s life
The little child hid away from the cowards
And lived her days ‘midst pain and strife
Too soon her life came to an end
Before King Hugh reclaimed his rights
She died of loneliness inside her hiding place
Where she crept to sleep each night
Had the good king known of this
He’d have taken her to his care
But his own untimely death had come
Leaving the king still unaware
Now as the castle comes alive
With gaiety and whim
This little ghost can at least be part
Of pleasure and love shown within
She plays with the castle cats
Each night while others sleep
And hides away throughout each day
As she prays to God, her soul to keep
Dee Garner
© March 16, 2009
Author notes
Option #12 in the Huguenauties contest: We've found a new ghost in the castle, write about it.
In a list
A contest entry
- Huguenauties Contest No.#42 for MEMBERS OF HUGH WYLES FAVOURITES GROUP ONLY by huguenauties.
750 points, ended March 24, 19 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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hi Dee thanks for making my day just by telling me you liked my one liner. thats enough for me coming from you, and this poem is also so a good piece, I can not believe just how much you write, and I did enjoy this one as well,,,,,,,,,,thanks for the powerful read...i love to read
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Very well told tale. I enjoyed it tremendously. I like that it told a tale, those are the best in my view. Congrats on the trophy. Very well deserved.
Sharon
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Congratulations on winning the bronze trophy.You surely deserved it and more with this haunting poem. You've chosen just the right quatrain form, and low-voweled vocabulary to evoke a certain gloomy mood, and the whole piece is very well done indeed.
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I guess I didn't enter this contest...but glad it won a trophy...good job...
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Grizzly
That the keeper be put to death
To keep his master’s secrets hid
Is this child's ghost for real? How horribly, horribly sad. It should serve as a warning to all unbridled lust.
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Thanks for the comment, Wesley
Awhile back our group did a series of poems about the Ghost of Grandfather Wyles and our group's Huguelot Castle. Some were just within our group topics and some were in a contest. So this is just an extension of those poems, not really true.
I've enjoyed writing mine, though
Dee
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Congratulations on winning the Bronze trophy, catz. I really enjoyed your well-written poem!
<3 Maureen
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Congratulations on your lovely Bronze trophy Dee.
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excellent~
A sad but beautiful tale sis.......
I too love it cuz it's not a pre write...bless the little girls heart........I love a good ghostly tale...if you like ghosts a great one is on A&E Monday night called Paranormal State.I am gonna be sure and watch it this week if I am able its hr long special about exorcism.....
Best of luck in the contet......this had my attention from the start to finish
Hugs n love
Your sis
Susan~~~
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I like that you chose this option, that it isn't a prewrite, that it tells a story and that it does so quite beautifully. And with this entry, I think Sir Ima knows the three he will vote for...this being one.
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Dear Dee, I love your poem about how the little girl came to be another resident ghost in the Castle, such a sad little girl who is happy with the Castle cats and our company when we're there.
Love Hine
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Awwww! Very nicely written, imaginative story about the sad little girl ghost roaming the halls of our castle finding happiness with the castle cats and when our group is present!
Best of Luck in this contest!
Hugs,
♥ Maureen
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This is such a sad tale of how the littlest castle ghost came to be so tragically , but told by you so beautifully, Dee.
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Dear Dee, Oh what a sad tale of the little girl who had to hide for so long that she eventually died, it's a shame King Hugh never arrived in time to save her. But she's safe now and with Hugh's grandfather who will look after her and she's enjoying the gaiety of the fun in the Castle.
Good luck in the voting.
Jen
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Oh my this is a fantastic piece of poetry you have written.A beauty indeed, filled with amazing images that capture this story so well
Im very happy I came across this penning, you have amazed me
thanks for sharing your poetic talent.
Be blessed in all you ever do.
Tony
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a sad and touching tale, alas kings, with all their power can not save a soul in hiding. and when bad kings fight with good kings, timing is of essence, a good haunting poem, full of gentle power and sorrow.
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Ohoh someone's been down in my root cellar again...
Eddy
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Awww a sad tale Dee, the poor little girl ghost has been awful for her, even afer her deah she wasn't at rest< I'm sorry to hear the King didn't know of her existence before he too passed away, hopefully not for a long time after he took over the Castle. Very very good Dee, I enjoyed reading your story very much. Good luck in the voting.
Love Joan
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great atmosphere!
The opening stanzas set the scene very well, dank darkness, echoes of forgotten screams and horrific history! The poor girl's ghost has a sad tale, but the rest of her afterlife seems much better after King Hugh set things right. This is very good!
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Dear Catz,
Your tale is very sadly told
for, if it's as you say,
it sounds as though the good King Hugh
untimely passed away.
No wonder that the castle stairs
are free of mice and rats
if that's where your ghost-girl repairs
to play with all her cats.
If Hugh had lived, I'm sure he would
relieve her sorry mess
for he would take her on his knee
and make her his Princess.
The greedy king he would have thrown
into the Castle jail.
No mercy would the wretch be shown
nor ever granted bail.
But, if you got your facts quite right,
who will relieve her hapless plight?
Applause for your harrowing story, and good luck in the contest voting.
Love and hugs, XXX Hugh (R.)
PS: NO BLACK BACKGROUNDS PLEASE!!
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Oops, my bad... I forgot about the no backgrounds thing... but this one seemed so appropriate for the story. (don't you agree??)Oh well, rulz is rulz. I'll look for another background'
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