Run faster; away from the mirror
Away from your reflection
Away from Romeo
And away from rejection
Don't look back
Just stride ahead
Juliet, don't think about
Those words unsaid
I know Shakespeare murdered your innocence
And bloodied your soul
But honestly,You & Romeo
Could have had some self-control
You can try
This story to rearrange
But always remember
Even the purest will be changed
I know you're confused
I know you're lost
But look behind
The air is starting to frost
Your gown is flying
The tears keep coming
But nothing can stop
This becoming
Run into Romeo's arms
I know you're confused
About whats going on
But, I think you got used
You're just a character
In a Shakespeare play
Remember that...
Copyright © Kira 2009
Author notes
Option 4- William Shakespeare.
o h . m y . j u l i e t
A contest entry
- OPTIONS!!!! PREWRITES ALOUD BABY X "Did my heart love till now? Forswear it, sight!/ For I ne'er saw true beauty till this night." by Horcrux.Breathing.
950 points, ended July 30, 23 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give me the story behind your A.p name. :] by Antebellum.
550 points, ended July 13, 17 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - What does your username mean? by KnightOfTheRose.
700 points, ended September 6, 48 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
<3? Honest feedback always helpful, thank you!
Comments
1 - 38 of 38
-
I agree that the ending could be different but after reading it a few times i like it a lot more.
The rhyme is scattered but I like it like that- broken like her thought process.
She doesnt know what do to. -
<3 Romeo and Juliet
I know Shakespeare murdered your innocence
Nice line there, it could have ended differently.
I couldn't quite catch on to the rhyme, but I liked the first and second stanza especially.
Nice job. -
-
The rhyme is scattered. This is one of the ones i need to re-do. I hate the ending but it puts a halt to the poem and ties it up. Thanks for commenting
-
-
Romeo Juliet
Romeo Juliet.....well-read......swirling in my head......loved each verse of this poem.....it said what is meant by your intent.....telling Juliet her love for Romeo is all that was meant.....she had to seek out her Romeo is all that was meant....regardless of Shakespeare stripping her of her innocence.....well-written.....love your play on each verse of this masterpiece.....really enjoyed its innocent intentions......love peace & harmony
-
Another good piece. I liked the irony of your name in this. It fit so well with the poem. Nice rhyming in this also, not forced at all. Wonderful job. <3
-
-laughs-that is so ironic. I just finnished reading the play today. amazing poem, by the way.
-
I think this was beautiful the idea you took and the direction it was given!
Truly captured as if from a section of a movie still in motion...
-
at the end, i'm pretty sure it should be "you're" instead of "your"
amazing write.
-
I really enjoyed the concept quite a lot.
I especially liked the very ending lines. They added that notion of "spite" in the poem.
Great job&good luckkk!
-
Awesome.
i love how its like...life after the play.
i love the story and personally
i thought this poem was simply amaZing
-
forgot clappiesd
-
wow , thiswas amazing
i loved it -
I'm sorry this isn't what I asked for in my contest, its a lovely poem though.
-
Run faster; away from the mirror
Away from your reflection
Away from Romeo
And away from rejection
Oooh.. I completely loved the rhymes and the message of this poem. Nice job, lovely name. -
Really enjoyed it. Very well written. Good luck in the contest
-
Great job on this, shows why you chose your username well. Congratulations on the trophies you won with this piece. Great job on this and best of luck to you in my contest
-Steve- -
love it!! so well writtengreat write
-
Loved the flow to this piece it was very nice///Romeo and Juliet is one of my favorite tragedies and you explained it in a way i wish i could of rewritten it,,,amazing job,,,
-FallenAngel7890
-
Wow this had a great message in it and the flow was amazing
I really like what you did with this
Thank you so much for entering my contest and Good luck
-♥Amy♥ -
wonderful poem..
-
Incredible poem and a different way of looking at the sweetness of that story lol. I liked your view point so much.
-
this poem is beautiful love the emotion in it
-
This poem is beautiful and it flows perfectly.
I really enjoyed it!!
I love Romeo & Juliet alot!!
Thanks for sharing!!
And keep writing
x
-
-
Aww thanks! yeah I'm a sucker for R&J too lol <3
-
-
I love the end of this. I was wondering where you'd go with it and what the ending would be, and though it took me by surprise, it made me laugh. Thank you for using rhyme and rhythm, I can count on my hands the other teenage poets I've seen on here that rhyme. Keep at it, and remember the more you do it the easier it gets. Even though the rhythm wasn't perfect, it was very well written. Nicely done!
-
Your gown is flying
The tears keep coming
But nothing can stop
This becoming
Run into Romeo's arms
I know you're confused
About whats going on
But, I think you got used
Your just a character
In a Shakespeare play
Remember that...
a good poem, ah we not all characters here on earth, in the play of life. -
i read this through and saw the contest "give me the story behind your a.p. name" and have to admit, it's a damn good write
-
I love this such beauty in this write I love your perspective on the prompt woaw I can feel real heart wrench here I think its really clever Run into Romeo's arms
I know you're confused
About whats going on
But, I think you got used
Your just a character
In a Shakespeare play
Remember that...
woaw just woaw
Thankyou for enttering -
Wow. I love how you grasped the choices Juliet could havemade in this piece. Although Shakespeare had control of their actions. And the way you portrayed her as the character most 'attacked' by Shakespeare. Great job babe.
Goodluck in the contest =)
-Kati -
*finalist*
:] -
"But honestly,You & Romeo
Could have had some self-control"
I love this. It expreses a veiw similar to the one i hold of the starcrossed lovers. Very good write, you are very talented
-
'I know Shakespeare murdered your innocence
And bloodied your soul
But honestly,You & Romeo
Could have had some self-control'
I really like this part.
Intresting idea to come up with a name.
thanks for entering -
Thanks for your entry.
-
I enjoyed it. I really did.
I've always loved Shakespeare, especially Romeo and Juliet, which was my first Shakespeare book
I really like what you did here, breaking away from the actual story and using Juliet - probably the person harmed the most by Shakespeare - to tell the story. It's a little confusing, though, I won't deny it because you said to give honest feedback.
"I know Shakespeare murdered your innocence
And bloodied your soul
But honestly,You & Romeo
Could have had some self-control"
Love that part
Keep writing thanks for sharing
-
I love Shakespeare, this was a nice homage.
I would take that "and" out of the last life of the first stanza, better flow.
"I know Shakespeare murdered your innocence
And bloodied your soul
But honestly,You & Romeo
Could have had some self-control" good stanza.
Try using more punctuation. It gives form and inflection. Half of saying something is how you say it. Punctuation is how you use your voice in writing.
Overall, I enjoyed it. -
I like that... I was Romeo in school.. 2 times..
just a play.. and shakeshpere was and is not one of my favorites... This poem i did enjoyed..
JackReed3...
-
Confusing' character, even.
-
Oh my is a declaration of shock or confusion.
Juliet is a girls name, but also most famously from Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet, the young girl who falls in love so...
A Confusion Character.
Adding your comment:
1 - 38 of 38
