A simple thought; a simple wish; a simple touch; a simple kiss
A simple change, to make life complete, a simple girl so very discreet
Simple spells; cast away; simple thoughts do betray
A quiet night; soon to be awakened by the quakening depths
A simple frog; into a prince; a quick kiss did convince
Change; transformation; beginnings.
Copyright © Kira 2009
Author notes
Prompt: With This Change, My Life Is Better
10 poets
10 lines
30 minutes
Thanks for reading!
(:
A contest entry
- Everything Changes Quickie by Starz of Heaven.
1650 points, ended March 14, 10 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ANY POEM AT ALL! by Blue-Rose Beauty.
2800 points, ended March 30, 14 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Evening Quickie by Nikonic Freak.
400 points, ended November 19, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What do you think?
Comments
1 - 28 of 28
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This is sweet! I especially like the lines,
"A simple frog; into a prince; a quick kiss did convince
Change; transformation; beginnings."
I'm such a sucker for fairytale concepts.
Great job!
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oh i love this! it's so simply beautiful! i loved reading it. thank you so much for entering my contest and best of luck!
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Beautiful! A wonderful write and so very different from the last! Thank you for entering my contest.
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loved the flow..
wonderfully written -
I really like this. It flowed wonderfully. It was simple yet, it said so much. Thank you for entering and good luck to you in my contest.
~Vampy~ -
well now that was intresting~~~I found it a nice write... there are many things i would change about it. like the repeat of simple.. just a thought but other than that great penning poet!!
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This is really good, but if I may make a few suggestions....
I think instead of saying "A simple change, to make life complete," you should say" A simple change, makes life complete." That would make it flow better because everything else is short too. Also, this line "A quiet night; soon to be awakened by the quakening depths" feels too long as well for the overall breaks you have in the poem.
But everything else was amazing and absolutely beautiful. Please don't take my critiques as me not liking it, but I'm just sort of in a cricital mood today. I do realize you said this was your favorite so I hope I didn't insult you.
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I love it.
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Wonderful job! Nice job on snagging the Bronze.
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GREAT!
When I read this, just wow. I love the rhythm and the flow of your words, and how you carry a sense of fairy tale fantasy. Gives it that ray of innocence. Well done =D
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Great job! Congrats on the Bronze!
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A good abstract!
That I think does fit here. I didn't expect a piece such as this. Thank you for the entry.
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Beautiful. Simple, yet so amazing. Thanks for entering
~Lae -
a sweet and simple write that is filled with th ejoy of love, thank you for entering and good luck in the contest (can i have a muffin too please lol ?)
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Of course ((: Muffins all around!
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Hmmm, I like it(:
Your form was interesting.
And your last line summed it up well.
Great job(:
good luck. -
Very good. I'm too busy thinking about muffins and my plan on having a picnic tomorrow to write anything that's actually worth reading, so this will just have to suffice, for now.
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I like muffins. How are you going to go on a picnic if you can't eat, or if your teeth still hurt? AND, can I come?
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I can eat, no problem! Tooth just aches and makes me miserable for a while.
You're welcome to come, but no, I don't think you can. Maybe next time I'll have a picnic half way between UK and US, and we can both cycle to the muffins.
By the way, they're muffin fingers; rectangular muffins! -
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For shiz!? DUDE! thats awesome! Awww,
I wanna come. Okay! Next time! WHOOO!
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The cheap ones are far cheaper, but the Mr Kippling ones are so, so much nicer!
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Haha, okay (:
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I'm not surprised this one a trophy and very unique and beautiful take on the given prompt. Nicely penned.
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Very simple! You deserved the trophy you earned.
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Very good
You did this in ten minutes? Takes me an hour just to write my name. Good job, well earned trophy. Congrats.
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awwwwwwww
this is such a sweet write!.....
i absolutley love it..... it kinda gave me chills
you have great talent.... thank you so much for sharing it
your Faerie
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Kudos
Simply amazing. Nice write.
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I love this
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