i.
someone once told me that time was infinite. so i spread my memories like margarine across my brain and let them soak into my pores and across my arm, laid across like a bird's wings. i was jesus on the cross, nails in my wrists, crown of thorns as plentiful as the rosebush on the tabletop of my mind. that was a memory in itself; sunday mornings after cartoons, rainy days, umbrellas to church-- like a funeral in a gloomy movie. I wonder what it is about rain that can portray sadness in movies.
ii.
my mother used to tell me that when it rains, the clouds are crying. so i was always curious as to what in the world the clouds could be down about-- that the sun wasn't there, or that only the luckiest of clouds could see the stars on clear nights. i guess even in the atmosphere, jealousy is a bad trait.
but if time is infinite, then the clouds should not be disheartended, because time heals all wounds-- or so i hear.
iii.
i once watched a magician in las vegas who told the audience that everything we would see that night would be an illusion. so i stepped out of the theatre and saw a bickering couple, red with anger, dressed in elegant clothes, leaving a wedding chapel. but i brushed it off and said it couldn't be true; that happiness was too rich, and unhappiness too subtle, to begin so early in a relationship. it wasn't raining, but the three tears that knocked on the ground below her were enough to scatter the ants away to the depths of their darkness.
iv.
sometimes i count raindrops as though they were lucky charms and wait for the rainbow. and when it doesn't come, i travel across plains to find a pot of gold myself. i never find it. i think treasure is a paradox; that any real haven of happiness lies not in what we can find, but in what we can afford to lose. i wonder how people would perceive their lives if it wasn't limited by time; if they didn't think of themselves a clock, ticking down-- waiting for the alarm.
v.
time is complicated. it is like a big calculator where problems multiply on, and the only solutions come after the problem has already been spread around like a disease. i think time is unfair; that is holds the future hostage and damages the past. i wish a time machine wasn't required to travel through time, that only aspirations and hope could fuel such a journey.
time must be infinite because life itself is too long of a journey-- the watch runs out of battery, long before the journey ends.
Author notes
i was really inspired by your overall writing style. i like how well you express emotions, so i was just trying to write prose that expressed emotions to even the slightest nearness to how you do it:
so site a specific poem it would be: "twenty-one words for forever." mostly because it dealt with the aspect of time.
username: i t a l o e t k i n
A contest entry
- for blue, blue skies. [be inspired] by aanika.
5317 points, ended April 25, 13 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - the audition round. by stargazer..
800 points, ended May 21, 54 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What do you think?
Comments
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Originality: (9/10)
Emotion: (8/10)
Poetic devices: (15/20)
Structure/flow: (8/10)
Cohesion: (8/10)
Title relating to poem: (10/10)
Personal opinion: (9/10)
Syntax: (9/10)
Diction: (9/10)
Total:85/100
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very nice this is a very emotional piece i love ti keep up the great work....
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layed --> laid
iii. is GORGEOUS. so original and painful and beautiful. i loved it.
i think treasure is a paradox; that any real haven of happiness lies not in what we can find, but in what we can afford to lose. i wonder how people would perceive their lives if it wasn't limited by time;
stunning.
i loved this. thanks so much for entering and for taking the time to read my poem! -
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thanks for catching that... and for the feedback.
i appreciate it
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this was amazing.
i loved it.. you wrote so beautifully about time
and no one ever stops to think just how precious
time is, and that we don't have forever..
good luck in the contest , this looks like a winner to me
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