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With You...

Had a crush on you
Fell in love with you
Yearn for you
Hated you
Love you like a brother
Love you like a cousin
We were strangers
Then, familiar faces,
allies,
enemies,
friends,
good friends,
best friends,
close friends...
And now we are
Between the lines
Of friends and a couple
We are now
Secretly
Friends with benefits
It sounds bad
But is it?
It's fine
Or is it?
'As long as we're friends, that's all I care about'
That
My simple answer
I don't mind
I fantasize being with you
When it happens
I'm so happy it's real
But, when I leave...
When I look back...
It doesn't seem like a memory
More like a dream
It wasn't real
Your warm body
Against my cool one
My bare chest
To yours
Our hips
Wrapped around each other
You
Taking
My first french kiss
Away
We're not having sex...
We're having
Simple
Clean
Fun
But...
When you get the one you love
It ends...
I'll smile
Knowing that we're still friends
Knowing that I got to have you for awhile
Knowing...
That you're happy with the one you love...

Author notes

Life with my friend is special. As long as we're friends, that's all I care about. Hope you like it.

Write about the one you love

A contest entry

What did you learn

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 15 of 15

  • Sheilasbabygal4life gold member
    November 22
    ?
    Edit | Reply
    This was good I do have too say! But however the flow is a little off. I am going to have too say no that you can't go to the next round but thanks for entering/.


  • Heva Feva
    May 31
    Edit | Reply
    Interesting. I like the structure. Good luck and thanks for entering.
    -heva


  • liquidmindforever
    May 16

    Edit | Reply
    Dear Poet

    Thank you for entering your prize winning poem
    into my contest: PREWRITES FOR BRONZE & SILVER
    TROPHY winners only

    Wishing you the best

    Till then
    stay
    liquid


  • MaddCuppyCake
    May 13

    Edit | Reply
    sounds complicated, but nice
    great write. nicely done. good luck


  • Night Terrors
    May 2

    Edit | Reply
    That sounds like a hard line to be balanced on I couldn't handle it.

    The Positives:

    Great emotion and imagery you have a great poem here.

    Room For Improvement:
    Nothing I can see you did wonderful



    My Favorite Part:
    Wrapped around each other
    You
    Taking
    My first french kiss
    Away
    We're not having sex...
    We're having
    Simple
    Clean
    Fun
    But...
    When you get the one you love
    It ends...
    I'll smile


    this part was so freaking creative short lines that really added a spark to you poetry.
    Overall:

    I give this an 9/10 you did great. I hope to see you in my future contests thanks so much for entering.

    ~*~Apathetic Poison~*~

  • icesc8ergirl
    April 13
    Edit | Reply
    Great job! Thanks, and goodluck


  • Umi Juvariel
    April 1

    Edit | Reply
    This poem made me feel like there was unhappiness where there should be happiness. I don't think you are really happy just being friends, and maybe you should look into that more. Excellent write and good luck in my contest.


  • Heavenly Angel silver member
    March 22

    Edit | Reply
    The best of relationships start out when you're very good friends first
    I like this piece
    Straight and to the point
    Thank you for sharing and for being part of this contest!


  • Amandainlove
    March 21
    Edit | Reply
    good luck.

  • Amandainlove
    March 21
    Edit | Reply
    I liked it


  • SoulfulBubbles
    March 18

    Edit | Reply
    this is a beautiful poem, didnt make me cry but the tone flow and voice in it is beautiful, out of all the things i have read from your works this is my favorite,

    its simple yet beautiful like a honest compassionate smile


  • nightingale
    March 18

    Edit | Reply
    amazing! wow. it made me cry.

    if only "he" could read this, then he would know how i feel.

    good luck in the contest.


  • chicky95
    March 16
    Edit | Reply
    wow this is really good !!


  • Zellelo
    March 14
    Edit | Reply
    did you...write down what i was feeling in my heart? it sure looks like it. darn you. made me cry.


  • FaerieNWonderland
    March 13

    Edit | Reply
    awwww this piece absolutley broke my heart!
    it is amazing.... thank u so much for entering my contest

1 - 15 of 15