travels documented on hearts

long and deep
the red that only crusted, dried blood has
scar the wrists of many

but not I-- my scars riddle the heart, toy with emotions
they cannot fade, will not fade

memories of a night - seemily happy and grand
a ring of a phone changed it all, happiness crashed into tears
she curled up sang into herself hidden from the world
wetness pouring from her eyes - a drunken voice on the line

daggers stab my heart, pain pumps through the body
her tears were not the cause-for I have seen them many a time, though it still-and will sadden me
no not her tears or the curling up or the "I never want to go to that school again"
but the pain, the sadness, the hopelessness in her eyes
tears sparkled misted over the pain
eyes squeezed shut, her brain racing; maybe just maybe no one will see that I've given up

or perchance, her brain had shut down, body filled with sadness and nothing else
happiness left to rot, a smouldering pile of garbage in the sun
left behind, forgotten, nasal passages blocked unable to acknowledge "happy"

or happiness is the sun, gleaming down on everyone else but she can't feel the warmth,
and she longs for it, wishes she could be warm just like the others, but she is forever in the shadows stalked by a storm cloud, sun blocked out but she knows it's always there; just out of reach

happiness's escape and gloominess's arrival aren't marked by visible scars
their travels are marked on our hearts, engraved in our very soul

painful,
invisible scars