And that's when he said,
ask me no questions and i'll tell you no lies.
It only takes an instant for you to realize,
that the last five years of your life were meaningless.
Mascara tears running down your face,
falling freely onto your t-shirt spoiling the white lace.
your entire world caving in around you,
He had never really cared,
after all the dear secrets you both had shared.
He had that look on his face,
the one he only used,
when he was puzzled or confused.
Doll why are you crying?
Did he really have no clue,
At the top of your lungs you scream, It's you!
Author notes
I decided to go away from my usual style as it is very basic and also try my hand at a new topic.
Any constructive critisism received will be greatly appreciated.
I plan to revise this poem later.
What did you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Again I fell in love,
And it was powerful and strong-
The words up above,
only have 2 things wrong.
The punctiation got in the way,
Of your beautiful flow,
And line 7 to 8,
Just doesn't quite go.
Don't hate me,
For I criticize your work,
Please just see,
I fell in love with it first.
ok enough playing around...srry...lol
I loved this poem. a few minor mishaps, that EVERY writer has.
The only thing I couldn't Stand about this poem is the fact that it ended.
It's flow and feeling and expression were all almost perfect.
I loved the whole thing save the fact it was short.
Perhaps u might feel like writing a part 2 one day and it may wonder further down the rabbit hole,
But I will savor these words no matter what becomes.
peace and love-
Lost
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I really loved this piece and can so totally relate
I really loved
And that's when he said,
ask me no questions and i'll tell you no lies.
It only takes an instant for you to realize,
that the last five years of your life were meaningless.
&
I loved the last line
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I <3 this poem. I think everyone has been in this position, and though it's short your poem was really good. I especially loved the ending; how you tied it all in. Good job
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I can relate to this, and I like it. Because I'm going through it now. I like it. Well done..
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I think I have felt this piece, too many lies to the questions I ask. I had a sad feeling at the end of this, maybe because I can relate
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