She smiles at him coyly
from across the bar,
aware that all evening
his anticipation was just this.
Her dark eyes widen
flashing him an invitation,
then surveying him again
as he meanders toward her.
They prattle on introductions
and idle antics of their lives,
caresses are casually exchanged
foreshadowing an almost perfect plot-line.
Reading his libidinous expression,
she shifts her body into his
with soft leading gyrations,
she guides him into the darkness.
Silhouettes dance feverishly
peeling each layer away,
their inner most desires
drawn out in subtle seduction.
Author notes
but seduction isn’t making someone do what they don’t want to do. Seduction is enticing someone into doing what they secretly want to do already.
Waiter Rant, Waiter Rant weblog, 11-29-05
A contest entry
- pif Quickie by Dragonbabyx3.
1000 points, ended March 14, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Unsung Prewrites! by Justified Inc..
700 points, ended April 2, 68 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I'm Crazy....but OH WELL!!! PREWRITE CONTEST!!!! by Kathraina.
575 points, ended April 18, 296 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Any and all suggestions are welcome.
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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Nice. I liked your word choice and the imagery you put into this. I think that if you put this into story form it'd be one great story. Subtle yes, but in such a way to get what you want. I really liked this, great job and good luck.
Josh
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funny you should mention that, because the first stanza was in my head for weeks before the contest prompt helped me finish. Except it was a stanza it was the beginning to a story. I plan to actually turn it into one in the future, if my time allows. Thank you for the comment.
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Very sublte indeed. I love this!
Great job on this piece!
Bravo!!!
♥ Kate -
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Thank you!!
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Mmmm...sensual, yet erie....lovin it!
You have a gift with words....>>>
***They prattle on introductions
and idle antics of their lives,
caresses are casually exchanged
foreshadowing an almost perfect plot-line.***Brilliant!
....thank you for sharing this with the Group -
Bear -
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My pleasure, as always Bear. Thank you for your ever kind words about my work, you are too sweet. <3
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Subtle and passionate!
I love this poem, it is so sensual and provocative. You have left me feeling a little michievieous! I loved the stanza breaks and the subtle suduction building up as does the attraction into passionate frenzy! Very nice!
Bravo!
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I did my best to build it up that way, adn I'm glad that it comes across properly to the reader, as subtle, yet knowing mischievious. Thank you!!
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Got none really
I read this three times and the only thing I see is some wording in the third stanza that personally would change, but this works good and it's you not me. (an old guy) I don't think it needs much, if any tinkering.
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Wow!
This is poetry! I have nothing else to say. -
Awesome write, alluring imagery. In your AN absolutely true.
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beautiful take on the prompt, soft and sensual, a hint of sexyness in there! I loved this piece! You had an excellent take on the prompt! Thankyou for entering my contest, and best of luck!
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