I longed for this day.
When you were told
that you could no longer hold the sun,
so that you couldn't burn
through bones,
keeping bits of skin as trophies.
And I often wondered if
you wore them,
because it always seemed like I was tearing through layers
just to find out
that you were someone else.
And you told me
that you would never have given up,
because even the sea couldn't stop you.
Author notes
Ugh >.<
A contest entry
- write iv (favorites only) by chilali.
400 points, ended March 30, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Have You Blessed Me With a Gold??? ENTER HERE! by Paloszoo.
1200 points, ended July 2, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Quickie-PW by crivanea.
400 points, ended July 9, 29 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
-
no
-
no
-
i really like this...I love how it ends..I love how you bring the poem around with soft spoken words and beautiful imagery.I like where you take me...this is a good write..nice job poet
-
Wow, this is magnificent. I adore it. Unfortunately, for this contest you needed to enter a gold winning piece
This certainly would've made it to the finalists! Thanks for entering my contest and showing your work here. It's an honor to read it


-
In my metaphor, I can swim as well as in this world, and the sea will only ever be just something to swim through. Waves make me stronger, and calm lets me rest. But the only reason the sea can't stop me is because I am too 'frightened' of cold water to get in it and prove that it can't. Irony, and almost a contradiction. For that, regardless of how far I can swim through violent waters, I set the barrier there myself.
Irrelevant.

-
Where have I been?!
This is amazing my dear queenypoo, the imagery and emotion and everything about it just totally hooked me. It's actually pretty short but it holds so much I didn't notice 'til just now. I agree, this has to be one of your best/one of my favorites of your recent stuff. Wonderful job my love!
Jeanette*~

-
An awesome write. I think this is one of your best free-verse. The images are so heart-breaking and sad. Very touching, sweets. Creative, and the flow and length were great. Keep it up.
-
explain now
This was so painful it dug under my skin and tore it apart until it reached the place in your chest right under the sternum that aches when you're betrayed.
I hope you're okay sweetie come to me if you need to talk. I may be going through stuff too but you're is more important to me Love you!
xoxoxoxoxox

-
i understand this...and i dont want to
TAKE IT BACK
looove you
-
Badass.
Hmm, I definitely am liking this poem of yours, the language, especially figurative, was very thought provoking...although, like I said, I can't quite tell what it's about lol. But still, it's awesome.
's =)
-Cody

1 - 10 of 10






