Penciled beacons point to news
from earth starving for affection;
paper stars and planets shadow a banner,
I’ll take you by the hand.
but belief is only seen by infant eyes,
tiny ears that hear the void unsuspected
who believe a larger -than- them is responsible
for skies and the things that permit air
in the chests of bears and reptiles
pink eyes in rabbits, and rainbow skin;
The audience raves with hidden airs
and takes the popular path and
not the way of the forthcoming;
baby sleeps, smiles, grows,
and believes what their eyes say
till the pencil is sharpened.
A contest entry
- what if it all disappears in the shadows that reach for the stars? by etoile.
700 points, ended March 20, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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pink eyes in rabbits, and rainbow skin;
The audience raves with hidden airs
her i will throw in ? with ;
as you start a new verse, would it not be better to not have the semi-colon there after skin?
a good poem but i dunno i feel something amiss when you talk to me, like you are feeling superior
i maybe wrong but the last few times you have contacted me i received an air of dwn the nose from you, why is that?
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What an interesting perspective! Maybe the meaning was indicative of that superiority.
The semi-colon would indicate a sequel of thought rather than halt. Sorry if that seemed like it.
Basically, this poem is at the podium of conscience rather than judge, and with poetry, we take that chance.
Down the nose? Oh my. That would be a first. I am just trying to
be honest as anyone should be with me. How dreadful a reply.
My gift is critiquing and not at all for the purpose of being lofty.
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it is not a dreadful reply - in my opinion, it is everytime you visit me you seem to snicker behind your breath of words and i pick up on that i could be mistaken but i believe i am not.
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Loved it! If not for the innocent,we would be doomed to an uninventive dead zone. Returning to innocence is where it's at.
The dreams that sustain humanity's ability to reach to the stars
in wonderment can only come from uninhibitated freshness such as the young's. You Poetess share the dull lead of poetic inventiveness here in one fine verse! Let's make a pact,to never sharpen our ""mature" points again. This life needs all the poetic believers in innocence it can get.Dam...hope this makes some sense to someone besides me.Because I truely do believe it.
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You got it girl! Makes plenty of sense. Of course, sometimes I think that is why I write...so you can come in and embellish!
I cross my heart and hope to...uh, use a crayon instead.
Thank you so much!
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i really like the ending of this. it's very strong and quite unique. the first stanza is my favourite. it has some beautiful imagery in it. this is very well written, i enjoyed reading it.
thanks for entering
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Few of us trust ourself when it comes to stepping out and being counted, fear of seeming inferior or different holds us back. But what if we are right and they are wrong? What then. Instinct and guidance from knowing the deepest self and trusting in own judgement comes from more than just maturity. Your poetry set me of with much muse, a lovely insightful piece, thankyou for sharing.
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Children, children, children, they are the 'stuff' that takes the edge off of adult life. No wonder Jesus said, "Of such is the Kingdom of Heaven". If heaven is to be held onto here and someone could wrap their arms around it, it will be through the eyes of children. Thanks for your insightful reflection on how they are and how they believe, and how they respond to the world around them. RC
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I'm a firm believer in the powers of imagined positives. Call me immature if you must. But this fine verse alludes to the collective beliefs that innocents creates. nice piece.
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