beware the page whose master is rage
for sorrow is his sire
a fearsome sight that stalks by night
hatred burning like a fire
clothed in steel with a scepters seal
his vengeance will never tire
A child betrayed demons made
innocence not to take
each mans pain a nations bane
misery in his wake
a soul is bound the smith doth pound
another armour he will make
From atop his steed he makes the world bleed
pity he shows for none
resentment on his banner unforgiving in his manner
his work is never done
The sword and mace no colder than his face
Alone rides the hated son
Once a page now the master perfect render cast in plaster
battered son waiting his turn
draught the chalice filled with malice
headed for the devils urn
All his wounds the armour covers battered sons make bitter lovers
Gone is the gentle son never to return
His heart is frozen against his chosen
his grasp it makes her shiver
She carries a page conceived in rage
a kingdoms scourge to deliver
Slowly the sire becomes a squire
At his hand blood flows like a river
On and on turns the wheel stamping out sceptered steel
cast into the world without a care
Within the page the fury hovers bitter sons make battered lovers
Not an ounce of pity can they spare
With every breath they pray for death
Flawed beyond repair
Author notes
Written February 27th, 2004
What did you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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This is right on. The lines:
Once a page now the master perfect render cast in plaster
battered son waiting his turn
draught the chalice filled with malice
headed for the devils urn
All his wounds the armour covers battered sons make bitter lovers
Gone is the gentle son never to return
Are remarkable. Very powerful and true. I will have to read more of your stuff. This is a form that makes me want to yell, put in the punctuation! but yet it works well without it. Thank you for sharing this with me. You are a Survivor! ~ Rainy
Edited on Jun 12, 3:51 p.m. because ''. -
Congrats on the Silver!!
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This is very good! I love the whole fantasy theme. I especially love the rhyming scheme you've used. Thank you so much for entering!
-*Lizzy*- -
Great Poem
I haven’t read many of your poems yet but they get better as I go - it looks like I have some great reading ahead - In fact I myself am an English Knight Haha (Baron) and I enjoy King Arthur type stuff of any kind - Albert. -
I loved the way this piece flowed... it was amazing, a little confusing at places but generally this was an awesome right.
A child betrayed demons made
innocence not to take
each mans pain a nations bane
misery in his wake
a soul is bound the smith doth pound
another armour he will make
The old-poetry aspect of it is very effective... -
ok
this right here is the highlight of your poem A child betrayed demons made
innocence not to take
each mans pain a nations bane
misery in his wake
a soul is bound the smith doth pound
another armour he will make
so ya keap it up and feel free to read my stuff i need work on mine
Edited on Mar 25, 7:48 because 'edited to remove spam'. -
good
Within the page the fury hovers bitter sons make battered lovers. That was likely my favorite line. I think this is a form I haven't seen before, I don't know if I like it or not but you did it justice anyway. I was drawn by the title, and it was exactly as I hoped it would be. I've been working on a mideivel themed book, and it interests me now. You not only have captured the feeling but have given and idea of that sort of life. I I may make a suggestion, it would flow better if it was "his grasp IT makes her shiver" but thats just me. Thanks for the read.
Curtain
Ladie -
oooh Very creative.. I dont read much fantasy poems but this was like a story so I enjoyed it. I hope you continue to write in this style. Best wishes!
~Zan -
wow umm great write evn though im a lil confused maybee u culd explain 2 me?? and maybee then i'll get it sorry
good luck in my contest and thanx for entering
amandy
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