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Causing harm to ----> the body

 

Causing h.a.r.m to  ---->  the body
will {k e e p} the mind
                                  o
                                    f
                                      f
PROBLEMS ,
              wont it?

                         
I f.i.x.a.t.e my sight on
                                   a ‡wall‡

My body  ~t-r-e-m-b-l-e-s~  in fear,
for even that;

                    could be a  /w/e\a/p\o/n\
in my de:s:i:r:ed quest for pain

                  *alleviation*

It  }hurts{  to close my    eyes  
t  h  o  u  g  h  t  s   I don’t want to think
keep c~r~e~e~p~i~n~g  kcab into my brain.
Such a stupid p a t t e r n         

of  p•ai•n and g-u-i-l-t,

             

¿WH¥  do  I  want  it?

It would harm [more] than just my skin.
My blood would
                        d
                           r
                             i
                               p 

                                 and  f>>l>>o>>w
only to {infect} others with s;o;r;r;o;w.


SCREAM
[No relief]

I  ;;cry;;
                                       [Just MORE p.a.i.n]


Do I fear the  l..o..o..k  of the s\c/a\r/s
or the effects of them ?

P

   L

      E

          A

              S

                  E

someone tell |me|
is this all just the stupidity of a girl with little to worry about ?
Or is this me, losing my \s.a.n.i.t.y/ bit by bit ?

                           

I want to ☼die☼
And I do not fear death.
What I f

          e

          a

          r

is hurting

            those who ♥ love ♥ me …



 

Author notes

Again, A special thanks to Dragonbabyx3 for her help.
Lol I dont know, I just thought Id enter it, its my first dirty pretty poem, and I like it.
I hope you find this pretty good as well.

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 8 of 8
  • Title- 4/5
    Creativity- 5/5
    Use of metaphors, imagery, etc.- 9/10
    Overall package- 4/5

    Total= 22/25

    This was an amazing piece
    of poetry for a DP write,
    though I feel this does not
    need so much extra punctuation.

    Thanks for entering

  • Love this!

  • T.h.a.t. ~is~ A m a z i n g !!

    W00t!


  • Kathraina silver member
    March 20
    Edit | Reply
    Very dark, but I'm totally drawn to it

  • I do not know a lot about dirty pretty, but your first attempt is a lot better than mine. Good luck in the contest.


  • shehasmyheart
    March 13
    Edit | Reply
    .. i dont like you doing dirty but its really good

  • This is probably the best dirty pretty I have ever read/seen.


  • Dragonbabyx3
    March 13

    Edit | Reply
    awww, It was no problem hun! I absolutely loved this piece! The imagery it creates, as well as the emotion, Just blew me away! A wonderful piece of work!

1 - 8 of 8