Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Lost Sobriety

I miss you.
I did invite you back
So many times.

And you came back
A dozen times
For a day or two, a week,
A month and sometimes even longer...
But never stayed.

You said:  "I"m bored,
I want to go, I do not trust you.
You cheat on me with friends of yours -
Your bag of dope, your bag of death
your sharp-edge  glass pipe,
as cracked and fragile as your promises,
Your set of works -
Your set of "Quit. Don't work."
Or even better - fired?
You fire up your joint...
And then you say - I miss you.
Come back, let's be together..."

Pathetic.  You are right.
I'm sleeping with your enemy, Addiction
And at the verge of orgasm
I'm screaming out your name - Sobriety!

It's true.
I lost my mind the day when I lost you.
It's true.
I lost my life the day when I lost you.
It's true.
Your truth is true, the only truth that's true,

I lost you, but
I'm still in love with you
And we can start with only day or two,
A week, a month, or maybe even longer...

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments


  • cough drop creek
    March 18

    Edit | Reply
    "I want to go, I do not trust you.
    You cheat on me with friends of yours -
    Your bag of dope, your bag of death
    your sharp-edge glass pipe,
    as cracked and fragile as your promises,
    Your set of works -
    Your set of "Quit. Don't work."
    Or even better - fired?
    You fire up your joint...
    And then you say - I miss you.
    Come back, let's be together..."

    Pathetic. You are right.
    I'm sleeping with your enemy"

    I really love that part so much, and the jumbled feel to this.
    In my opinion you could do even more with it if you edited some parts, but still kept the same tone.
    just like "I did invite you back
    So many times." to "I invited you back so many times"

    and "For day or two" to "For a day or two"
    just little things, but a great piece. very creative, I like it


  • Jonbug gold member
    March 13

    Edit | Reply
    If I understand this to be solely about addiction and Sobriety...It is VERY powerful! You should consider donating this work to AA or some such. It really hits like Tsunami and yet doesn't browbeat or preach. A powerful vehicle for a poweful message. Don't hide this work. And thank you.