Carved mini poems, abusing short slogans,
the emotive arrow-pierced little hearts, and
the same old chemistry equations,
are on the corner of my head.
Relevantly against their poems,
name of the poets are etched;
with hints on Poetry ERCs*
irrelevantly written against
the complicated trigonometry formulae,
another corner of my head is filled.
I stand like an encyclopaedia,
but still they call me ‘wooden nothing’?
Author notes
- An Indian classroom desk speaks -
*Explain with Reference to the Context
*POW Contest*
A contest entry
- Poem of the Week - POW - by Bear & Judges by Arkbear.
1150 points, ended March 16, 8 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
:)
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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it is very creative poem but not enough imagery make i a whole lot more fun
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I like the fact that you spell encyclopedia using the diphthong, helping to symbolize the unrealized antiquarian nature of the desk. As far as things to improve upon, I would find a different why to phrase the Poetry ERCs as it is a bit esoteric or leave it and remove the explanation, treating it as similar to an Easter egg. Irrelevantly should be changed as well to something like impertinently since you use relevantly earlier in the poem and the dual definition of impertinent (rude and lacking pertinence) could provide more emphasis. Cool poem though!
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Thanks for stopping by. I appreciate your valuable comment and nice suggestions.
Love
Kiddy
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Interesting personification.
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Unique and intriguing!!!
nicely done, very engaging and makes you think....unusual speaker too!!!
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hmmm...
i like it... -
wow this certainly was very interesting. An old wooden desk speaking. Never heard of that. Great write. Thanks for sharing this with us. Congrats on the trophy
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Very well written poem!!!! Congrats on silver!!!!
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Greetings
An interesting theme to write on. A school desk, does not matter what kind.. but a school desk.
Your broke the flow with the explanation of the letters ERC. It would have been better off in the Author Notes. For that took away my thoughts with what was being said.
Best of luck in this POW.
Riftkin
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Hello & welcome to POW!
Interesting theme --
while whether it is merely a regular school desk or an Indian one, I don't think it really matters. As far as seeing a poem about the writings on a desk and the desk's thoughts? I don't think I've seen that before.
The line with (the explanation) of an ERC seems out of place, as I would perhaps include the (term's definition) in the AN -- this only hindered the flow. I would have been curious what it meant, and (for me) seeing it below would have solved that.
The closing lines strike me as a bit odd, not sure if that's just me.
Nicely done. Thank you & best wishes in POW! My score will be in the closing comments. Please remember, no editing until after judging.
~ Tim -
penned uniquely dear Kiddy. Emotions running along rational, with precision of maths and feelings of litrature. You brought harmony between left and right brains 'Kiddy'
Venu
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Hello -
*are on the corner of my head*.....that L just seems a tad bit disconnected from your other thought....maybe bring it up a space?
(ERC) should have been left for explanation in your AN....IMHO....let's see what your other Judges say
...also, I do not find that Poetic....and we try to have you pen in a Poetic Voice & Tone -
Not toooo bad though
I stand like an encyclopaedia....??
OR.....I sit....I appear.....I consume as???
Standing just does not seem to fit, as I picture this person sitting, staring at the desk....I hope that makes sense to you -
**irrelevantly written against
the complicated trigonometry formulae,
**Brilliant visuals!
Over-all....an excellent Theme.....but I do believe it may get hit in some of the areas which I critique...let's see!
Good luck and thank for coming out to support this contest,
Blessings,
Bear -
Title 9.5....had me curious..but, I would not click on it unless I wanted to read about this Genre .....BUT, a good Title after I read your write......not the best, but good
-Flow 9.65....good Flow....your Tone is a tad choppy IMO....-
Depth 10.. depth is superb...a tad broken in thought, but displayed as a visual masterpiece -
Theme 9.95....a Theme which you penned beautifully -
Feelings 9.95...dramatic .....loved it -
Grammar 9.7.. nice grammatical choices.... -
Presentation 9.15....not as pretty, when aligned as this -
Uncommonness...9.85..creative... penned well and pulls me in -
Sit & Ponder Affect 9.95...I did ponder....had to read it a couple of times....loved it -
Ability to follow Rules 10.0..nice job
-Bears Score: 97.7
VERY nice
No editing once a Judge has touched your work....you have other Judges coming behind me -
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uniquely done for this theme I think.
best wishes in the contest
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Themes on
writing are not that uncommon...but you have penned this well!
Best wishes in the contest and always!
Write on!
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