To whom it may concern,
A gift not freely given,
Lost and unforgiven,
A sanity is privilege,
Teetered on the edge,
To whom it may concern.
A push can come from anywhere,
Mad relative or misplaced hair,
We do things we regret,
But we do not forget,
To whom it may concern.
A gift of sanity left behind,
Escaped me from mind,
So take my plea and forgive,
For someone may not live,
To whom it may concern.
Author notes
I don't want to write too much, I'd like to know what you guys think. I have a specific image in my mind that I've tried to convey but I'm not sure that I got it, I might have to rewrite a few times. Thanks.
What do you think this person is thinking about?
Comments
-
very dark, deep but obscure-->
obscure because i can feel the darkness, but the picture of the angst still hovers near without being clear. i think there is room for a lot more that is being held back because the format doesnt allow for it. (rhyming) it seems to me that you might really get to the blood and guts of what you want to say if you forget the boundaries that punctuation and rhyme have and just spill it out in a more prose-like form.
i, more than others, probably have a better idea of what you are getting at but just as well i have less right to offer an opinion.
spill it out hun! this is the place to do it ya know! your words here never escape through me to the outside and believe me when i say i can feel what you are getting at...
-dev
Adding your comment:
