You take from those with nothing
to feed your fatted cow.
The greed that burns within you,
you justify somehow.
Turn up the heat, make them pay;
that’s how you play the game.
With bonus in your pocket,
to you it’s all the same.
Turn your head, avert your eyes;
don’t count the ones you fell.
But with these calloused actions,
you damn your soul to hell.
Too busy to take notice,
or even feel the singe.
You cannot smell it rotting-
the stench of your own skin.
With cauterized emotions
you start another day.
You mustn’t let compassion
impede or cause delay.
So you continue dressing
in thousand dollar sheaths.
Despite your hellish efforts,
all know what lies beneath.
A contest entry
- I Got That Fire!! by lowercase prelude.
600 points, ended March 13, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - come take a look! please?? (rhyming contest!) by nobodys-girl.
400 points, ended July 16, 237 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrites. ♥ by GraveyardGoddess.
400 points, ends December 17, 446 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
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What a very thought provoking write. If those who had more would help those who have less the world would be such a better place to live. Our country is pushing it to the limits it seems. I don't know if we will ever recover from this recession all one can do is pray each night. Thanks for sharing. Thanks for viewing so many of my poems today it means the world to me, hugs Theresa
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Ohhh, this is a very effective diatribe against those who cannot seem to determine what matters most, Poet. Thank you for coming by my pages. Good luck in the contest. I noticed on your page that you were looking for sources of inspiration. I've been here for five years now, so I would suggest checking out those writers on my favorites list, as well as the various lists I have on my page. I'm a "former" librarian, so the possibilities are endless. 
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this carrys such a strong message! it's just wow! thank you so much for entering my contest and best of luck!
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BEAUTIFUL!!!!
Oh that greed has gotten us into a terrible jam this time! Our whole country has been wasteful and greedy way to long and now I am afraid it has caught up with us just like you say here.'s
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awesome write my friend. Boy can I relate to people like this! Thanks so much for commenting on my poem black women.
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WELL DONE
I know a lot of people like this, great job expressing
this painful reality, beautiful flow. fine quality my friend. thank you for sharing. peace be with you
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Thanks for commenting on one of my poems!
I like this one. The rhythm is strong and consistent throughout. Some interesting images: "cauterized emotions", "thousand dollar sheaths". It seems to be about ruthless greed, perhaps applicable to bankers in the aftermath of the credit crunch?
If you don't mind, some things that seem odd:
"fatted cow" -> should be "fattened cow"
"you fell" -> probably "you felled"?
"singe/skin" doesn't rhyme, but I guess you didn't have much choice. It is passable as it is.
Good write
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Hi there I liked this loved the last stanza sad that this did not place in the contest thanks for sharing be well.
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Thanks, glad you liked it!
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i liked it the stentch of your own flesh rotting its raw and rhyme its just fine
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Thanks, I wondered at first whether this line was too much, but after I finished, I rather liked it.
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Very well spoken. You have a great ryhme and rhythm to make for easy reading. I can do naught but agree with your thoughts and sentiments.
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Nicely done, very smooth rhyme scheme, loved it.
mj.
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Also; you have more comments on this ONE poem than I have on pretty much all my poetry.
I think it's just because you're an attorney
haha.
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Yeah, people seem to like the irony. However, for my own benefit, I would like to point out I do family law and foster care appointments, NOT personal injury! (that would come close to putting me in the category of the subjects of this poem) Thanks for stopping by to read.
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I really liked the imagery in this one. It seemed very raw to me, in a unique sense. Well done :]
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Greed is unfortunately a wildfire comsuming everthing in its path. You captured it well and your poem reads beautifully .
I especially like your fourth verse. It reminds of a smoker who wreaks but is so accustomed to the smell of stale smoke on their clothes, in their hair, etc. whereas a non-smoker can smell them a mile away. Same principle I would say for the most part.
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Perfect analogy for the 4th verse!
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It reminds me of all the fat cat business types who drain the people...and of course it reminds me of every government that ever existed and half my relatives too, lol
I can stretch it to many things...organized religion, relationships, my friend Tig who always steals my snacks from me.
But of course I see the seriousness of this piece.
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Be careful bringing someone home to meet the family
Seriously though, thanks for reading!
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OK a few things. Third stanza second line did you mean "fell" or "fail"? Of course pronounced the same but completely different meanings. As I know this is about the government, it can also relate to an individual as well so you may want to put it into more categories as I would hate for someone to miss it simply because it was put into a square box in a round room. That being said. I took this on a personal level instead of just about society it has some meanings in other areas of my life. Like abused children for instance. Wouldn't this peace be able to spread into that area as well. I would believe so. I also love the last stanza and think it would be better left as is. Yet again another amazing write! Keep penning!
~Crys~
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I did mean fell - I think I have created some confusion with that wording, but it is old terminology, I remember reading phrasing like that in a King James version of the Bible. I had not thought about this poem applying to more areas, but you are right. I will have to read it through in a new light now!
Thanks!
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Wow! This is exactly how alot of people see things these days, you hit it right on the nail. Good luck and Gods speed in all your ventures.
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Thanks!
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Timely and Current
Ahhh yes, you speak the voice of John Q Public, they whom you speak of are so out of touch with the "real" people that they decieve themselves. Whatever happened to "doing the right thing" with integrity and compassion for our fellow man? I've seen it coming back to life in small town USA, but in coporate America? And don't let me get started on the Politicians...I better stop now.. Very Good write full of power, and it gets you in the gut!
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I sincerely hope that compassion and integrity will find it's way back into American business. I think that is what made this county great many years ago. I believe treating people right in business is a must!
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Such intense conviction of passion in this write. Nicely done.
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an attorney with passion and conscience! how wonderful! great write this..i will be back for more.
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This is indeed a well thought out piece which I appreciate very much. Smoke and mirrors though as Bank of America and others are writing bail out money for campaign contributions and congress is losing much of its fictitious wrath..Smoke and diversion from looking at AIG placing 40 billion dollars in French and German banks they have 'interests" in .. it all amazes me .. so much happening so quickly. The public is being duped by a charismatic president. Keep writing poet you speak so well.
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For being a new poet or having not written much poetry you have a great sense of metaphor. I like the observant approach you take with this poem. The only thing I can see to say to work on is flow, other than that, great job.
Also, being an attorney you see the good and bad of many in a day-that shines through this poem as well.
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So you're an attorney, good to see you sticking it to the govenment, I've written some poems that you might like, two of which are ''Victim of Circumstance'' and ''We want your blood'', both different but about the govenment in some way. Anyway your poem is well written, and if I had to change something, I'd make it darker, really show the rage within, for one should never hold back. This poem still is great as it is, and perhaps take note of what others have said re your poem. Take care and good luck in the contest.
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Thanks for the comment! You're right, I did hold back some. I've always been that way, but I am trying to break out of the box. (that's why I joined AP) I will definitely stop by your page and check out the two poems you mentioned!
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Very good! Excellent rhyme and rhythm throughout this piece...a fitting storyline given the state of things these days. A very enjoyable read.
Rory
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Exellent!
Great job! I loved the meter as well as the rhyme, not forced at all..........4th stanza, perhaps exchange "singe" for "twinge?" You know, like a twinge of pain?
I don't know, thought it sounded appropriate and relevant?
Anyways, great, great write!
I loved the subject and emotion!
Annette
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Thanks!
I wasn't crazy about the outcome of that stanza, but the picture prompt was a flaming man in a suit so I tried to incorporate something about fire/heat in every stanza. That's how I arrived at singe. I didn't quite make it with the last stanza. I think I should change stoic into something fiery so if you have any suggestions there I would love to hear them. Thanks for stopping by!
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WOW - Came here to return the favour
And glad I did - this a great vemonous write for all those scum bags - like you say they are dooming there souls to Hell - you said it well my friend - to change the poem I would get a lot meaner - lol - I have 3 poems on my site you might enjoy - "Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae" - "Capitalist Sooies" and "A Beggar Angel" - Bless God - Joe ------------------------- peace
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Thanks for the comment! I will definitely stop by and check out those poems.
kdom
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Hit the Mark!
Right between the eyes! The government i just as deserving of your disdain. But, well spoken and written!
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I agree - maybe I'll pen something in their honor some day!
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WHOW!
Take that to heart if you can find yours AIG greedy bonus hoards ! This phenomenally strikes a cord of current offenses well. But can also apply refer to this current age of "greedy Gus gruesomes" prevailing.
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Funny, I thought about changing the title to AIG as a joke just a day or two before you left this comment, but then I decided I would have to be changing it all the time b/c there is no lack of offenders to fit the description
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A Great Political poem.
Your message is clear and very well written. I love your attack on the have's, but not because they are successful, for you pin point those with the wrong attitudes and methods used to arrive at their wealth.
A very good tale that flows great rhyming pattern with very accurate meter.
A very good poem, Thank you.
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Thank you very much! I did worry when I wrote it that some would think I was attacking those with wealth so I appreciate your comment and understanding of the distinction.
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Wonderful
Very well done. A great write. Best of luck in the contest.
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i like the rhyme scheme in this write and the use of language. you have done a fantastic job. i wish you well in this contest that you have entered. and am looking forward to reading more from you in the near future. viyanna rosemarie
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Thanks!
Thank you, I am still new to poetry and unsure about what I write, so I really appreciate your comment!
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Fantastic piece
Wonderful take on the prompt -
Amen! Fire fueled by Truth!
First, two little typos:
you damn you soul to hell -- your soul
the stench of your on skin-- your own skin
This clearly describes the rich getting richer and the poor becoming destitute because of them. However, their day is here and they will lose it all, while we will not go without: it is written.
You filled the poem with FIRE fueled by TRUTH, therefore it should take the GOLD!
Much luv & hugs, BonnieQ
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I second that Bonnie
Much more luv n' hugs Bonnie - Joe --------------- he wote a great truth here - "Fuel" -
Thanks, I hate making typos! (I wrote this during my lunch break so I am surprised there aren't more!)
Glad you liked it, hope others do too!
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