She bows
her face a mask of porcelain
and beckons
no trace of emotion lies beneath
her sublime composure
her face a mask of porcelain
and beckons
no trace of emotion lies beneath
her sublime composure
Author notes
picture photo bucket this was a tanka chain, but i have decided to let the first stanza stand onit'd own, for to say any more serves only to distract this mask of sublime beauty . o no capitalization is used and minimal punctuation , it is contemporary tanka not traditional phrases are short long short long long
In a list
A contest entry
- Masks-Physical and Spiritual-Why we wear them? by SpiritMother.
1000 points, ended March 26, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
if you have construtive comment please share snide remarks will be deleted
Comments
1 - 26 of 26
-
loved it
short and right to the point .... great picture to go with it -
-
my humble thanks and a grin
-
-
i don't know what it is about short poems but i think that you are a freakin genius right now!
-
-
my humble thanks and a grin
the tanka has been used a a format for love letters for centuries, sometimes less is most definatly more.
grin
-
-
Very well done =]
-
-
another kind of mask
if you enjoy dark writes check out Fritz O skennick excellent poet you may enjoy
-
-
Once again I find myself in awe of you..(not sure if that's spelled correctly)
-
-
my humble thanks and a grin
glad you enjoyed this
-
-
times of seduction, painted on to the lips - a whisper in time, always always a step away from yesteryear but as close as a kiss in the morning - a good poem
-
-
and a stunning reply thanks you
-
-
Feels like a fresh spring breeze
Lovely tanka. Nice picture and page layout.
A few corrections, perhaps?
~ L4 add "of" (no trace of emotion) to be consistent with L2&L5
~ L8 should be "echoes" (verb rather than possessive noun)
~ L9 spelled "baited breath"
~ On your page layout, I cannot see the color that is used for Links.
-
-
my humble thanks
thanks for the heads up, I get the links colors fixed -
-
-
-
A tartly and most deftly done form here and a perfect accompaniment to the above illo! bravo!
-
-
my humble thank smy friend
you got me right in my tarty heart!!!! grin
-
-
I am fascinated also by the highly stylized geisha culture; how did it start? Who first thought that a white emotionless face was beautiful? Why is the lack of color or facial expression so intriguing? You have written a poem that fully reflects the peaceful exterior of the picture, and suggests that they might also know secrets. A lovely work here. Lita
-
-
my humble thanks dear sister
I am also fascinated, when you combine with feet binding and other customs it was very intense, they were object of obsession and desire, and yet they must also have felt, loved, all within such strict guidelines, but somehow it draws me , must be the mask, !!!!!!!!!!!
-
-
Sublime composure. How is that done Annie?Is there such a place? I believe I've seen it twice in my lifetime, and both involved drugs of the prescription variety. Even then the mask was skin deep.
Lovely write my sister. makes me feel peaceful
Geisha is an amazing art form, one I couldnt do, no way.
Subservient, nu uh
love to you my sister,
Jin
-
-
hmm
you are correct, for western women and now many eastern women
A dying art form, bt one that fascinates me
-
-
Lovely picture and poem. I thought the first stanza was brilliant, in fact so good it might be worthwhile considering polishing the second. Conversation lost an eye (i).
-
-
hmm
suggestions on the second stanza, spelling fixed -
oh love
fixed it, this is what I was thinking we could do as a tanka love letter contest, hmm, would edit for you, then we will invite collaborators to submit letters to each other, sun wants to know what kind images do you want
-
-
This seems peaceful to me. Nice and peaceful. Anything where whispers are involved seems peaceful to me, generally.
I like to feel peaceful most of the time. Not all the time; that'd be dreadul.
'conversaton' - I think you want an 'i' in there.
-
-
my humbke thanks my friend
-
-
Geisha's have always fascinated me, how stoic they are, how the regimen to attain it must be adhered to. Nice write
C
-
-
yes a secret world that knows few limits
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 26 of 26
