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Make A Wish

Halley swung by once again
though this my first time seeing her
She looked  beautiful
I whispered to her and she promised me
that I would be around next time

Author notes

This was for the 30 words contest, quickie quick quick. I wanted to show how I found the hope of life within a star.

A contest entry

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • SandhyaSuri
    March 13

    Edit | Reply
    Good take on the prompt. Wish you would place the topic in the AN though this one is pretty obvious! Vibrant and vivid - full of promises and hope. Truly!
    Thank you for your entry!
    Cheers
    Sandy


    • Kmezz
      March 16
      Edit | Reply
      Ah! I was a little confused of how the poems are submitted, so I didn't know to put it in the author's note, I will do so from now on. Also, I appreciate your comments very much, thanks a bunch!


  • BearWoman gold member
    March 13
    Edit | Reply

    Makes me feel warm and fuzzy

    Okay, that's gotta be the "Hope" prompt! Excellent use of your 30 words. It has a magical feel to it. I liked this phrase the best: "I whispered to her". I liked this thought the best: "she promised me / that I would be around next time".

    Good luck in the contest!


    • Kmezz
      March 16
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you for enjoying my poem, your criticism is very sweet!


  • DesolatELifE
    March 12

    Edit | Reply
    Interesting. I like that she promised you would be around next time. I'm not very good at explaining why I like things today, but I do, and that's the best part anyway.

1 - 6 of 6