i am pulses of thunder hidden like drumbeats underneath your
shuddering skin
held tight like a lullaby there, in the softness underneath--
you whisper that my lips are like lightning
a jolt between your too-sharp hipbones and the
soft skin they seem to encage
in that terrifying instant you confess
with lips trembling against my throat that i might be your onlyonly
the well of tears dripping inside my chest like sloppy
waterfalls freezes
i am not prepared for this
and syllables slice through the darkness,
traverse up my fingertips past my elbows and straight into my heart,
a jolt that could never keep me alive
but could maybe kill me.
i didn't expect it. your glow-in-the-dark stars
aren't light enough to betray my tears
but have fallen enough for me to say,
"i should get going now."
begging phrases catch wind and float towards me but
like dandelion fluff all i can do is retreat;
this is not fear nor compassion,
no, this is nothing more than role reversal. i am
him and you have become me, a wooden doll come to life
with that spark of something great you dream up inside the emptiness of a soft lie
that is so much someone else
i planted seeds inside the nothing he gave me once, too
but nothing grows from apathy except regret;
once i made that bed of carniverous flowers, now i lay in it
(they leave the strangest marks, like bloody calligraphy upon my smooth flesh,
a love letter to him that he'll never read.)
i still whisper that he loves me. my nose grows each time and finally
when i leaned in for that first kiss with you
it broke off against your collarbones
and now my curse has spread
the transformation was nearly instant; like closing a spell i whispered
"you're too cute to get attached"
and snipped your puppetstrings, pushed you down
and watched you try to get up without me
now you are pinocchio, my wooden boy crafted
from my indifference and you will swear that you are real
until the day i leave when you will realize your own hollowness.
i don't regret it. i became porcelain and in time you will learn and infect
some haphazard girl with hasty hipbones and starry eyes
and your skin will marbelize and
your eyes will become shards of glass,
cutting through her clothes each night.
eyelashes puncturing her dreams
the cure for the pain is in the pain, remember that,
close your eyes and count to three before you do it,
and savor the fear in her eyes
the way i savor the goodbyes on your lips.
you can't taste them yet
but you will
just like i did
and remember the next time i tell you i'm sorry
that the apology comes before the goodbye
and turn over an hourglass, glue it to your basement table,
in honor of the girl i lost in his wake.
watch the granules fall and measure them in accordance to how much like him i become
look up when the last one drops;
and tell me if you see me or if you can only see his fingerprints on my body.
Author notes
xxxxxx
A contest entry
- think you should be on my favorites? let me know why. by stasis.
400 points, ended April 25, 43 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
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Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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I like it all together like this... it was amazing!!! I can't even pick a favorite line or a favorite metaphor in this write because there are so many. As I read I wonder... do you write this all at once... or do you write some here, some there and some even later? You are amazing!
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Haha, thank you, babe!
I write a few lines and put it down... then came back to it and wrote the rest. ;]
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wow. this was very full. so many emotions. i hoped that writing this helped you release some of your emotions.
i love some of your metaphors and descriptions.
"marbelize" is so unique. i love how you created that image.
normally i might say that it would be better to made separate stanzas out of this, but the more i thought about it, the more i like this poem the way it is. it is long and stretched out and it sort of visually shows your thought pattern.
excellent write!!
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You always leave me the best feedback!
I tried separating it into a million little pieces but it seemed broken and punctured instead of good. Know what I mean? I'm glad you like it better ;]
I feel like it's a little more how I used to write. Everything lately has been narrative with smaller bits of imagery. I feel like this one was more full, more... whole. I'm going to try and write like that again.
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jesus christ. where did that come from..crazy good.and so relevant. sorry comes right before goodbye. and thats something i have to.say now
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It came from the girl I lost, of course. And of course you relate babe... we all fall down eventually
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but at least other people don't fall and just keep rolling down the hill. snagging every rock and shrub on the way down. lol
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