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Forbidden

Forbidden. Prohibited. Outlawed. Banned. Taboo. Illicit. Off limits. Unauthorised. Not permitted. Proscribed. Disallowed.

These are all the words used to describe you in my life, my thoughts, my dreams, my speech.

Not just out of reach, but if I did reach out, someone would chop off my arm sooner than you’d be able to outstretch yours, even if you did want to reach out and grab hold of my hand. It’s for my own good, thoughts of you are so taboo to everyone else, but to me they are everywhere, behind every worry, happy thought or sad one. You are ingrained in my subconscious, and to me you are lawful, you are genuine, you are allowed.

I never listen to anyone who tells me something is disallowed or off limits; tell me I can’t and I’ll show you I can. But if I tell you I can’t, you should know that I always can.

I told you I didn’t believe in love, and I wouldn’t ever fall in love, and you knew all this but still tried to woo me, charm me, and have me. I was wrong, I could love, and the idea of not loving didn’t come into my head until I met you, which meant that I was afraid. I did love, although I wasn’t ready and never would have imagined it would become such a taboo subject, so forbidden, so illicit.

I tell people I can’t stop caring, I can, but I choose not to stop. Stopping caring about you is like someone telling me to cut out my heart, impossible and prohibited. If I cut out my heart I die. I stop breathing, stop thinking, and stop feeling; exactly how it was when I first lost you.

You may be constantly just out of reach, my friends, family and logical thought hell-bent on keeping my trapped behind the glass, watching you, and thinking about you. But in my imagination it is your arms that are wrapped around me, keeping me together, whispering in my ear,
“let it go, it’ll be fine, I’m here for you. It will all get better.”
In my imagination you are talking about my fear. My fear of love, my fear of abandonment, my fear of commitment, my fear of the unknown, my fear of letting you in, dropping my barriers and allowing myself to love you.

In reality, it is the arms of my friend which are in a vice grip around me. They are grabbing at straws, struggling so hard to keep me from breaking, from falling apart at the seams; they are too late, the threads are all unraveled and they are still attached to your pinky finger, and you are pulling out more and more of my stuffing as you walk further and further away. It is my friend whispering in my ear, telling me to,
“let it go”

but the ‘it’ is you.

You are the ‘it’ that I am told to leave behind, forget, disallow, expel and expunge from my thoughts. You are the ‘it’ I have to evict from my heart.

You are my forbidden fruit, but just like Adam in the Garden of Eden, I took a taste, and you are stuck in my throat, making it difficult to breathe, move on or dislodge.
You are forbidden, prohibited, outlawed, banned, taboo, illicit, off limits, unauthorised, not permitted, proscribed, disallowed. In the eyes of everyone else you are ‘it’, ‘nothing’, ‘not human, not animal’, ‘that’.

In my eyes you are, ‘everything’, ‘him’, ‘lovely’, ‘sweet’. You are ‘love’ – but only to my heart. Like everyone else, the logical part of my brain describes you as a ‘no-no’, but I never was great at maths or science, logic isn’t something I understand easily. I enjoy abstract, abnormal, outside the box – everything that is you.




Author notes

13 - Forbidden

d r o w n e d . i n y o u r . e y e s

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 12 of 12

  • Abstract Image
    April 25
    Edit | Reply
    wow i love this poem even though i hated the background. it really spoke to me...GL


  • Denerica
    April 13

    Edit | Reply
    Tell me I can't and I'll show you I can, I like that line, powerful declaration of positive thought, speech and determination. Well written. Blessings.


  • innocence jaded.xx
    April 12

    Edit | Reply
    fawk. this is brilliant.

    -In reality, it is the arms of my friend which are in a vice grip around me. They are grabbing at straws, struggling so hard to keep me from breaking, from falling apart at the seams; they are too late, the threads are all unraveled and they are still attached to your pinky finger, and you are pulling out more and more of my stuffing as you walk further and further away. It is my friend whispering in my ear, telling me to,
    “let it go”
    ...

    i know how this feels i honestly must have reread that about five times. haha you just said it all right there. there is so much emotion in this piece, and i absolutely love how you wrote this. i'm actually in awe right now. (:

    plain out beautiful.
    thank you for entering. (:
    finalist♥


  • etoile
    March 21

    Edit | Reply
    They are grabbing at straws, struggling so hard to keep me from breaking, from falling apart at the seams; they are too late, the threads are all unraveled and they are still attached to your pinky finger, and you are pulling out more and more of my stuffing as you walk further and further away. It is my friend whispering in my ear, telling me to,
    “let it go”

    but the ‘it’ is you.
    ---
    mmmmmm
    that's gorgeous.
    and the ending as well.

    looooove you <3


  • SimplyNoodle
    March 21

    Edit | Reply
    WEll written =) Great work hun. I wub it. Your a wonderful writter. Very good take on the prompt. Keep writting.
    ~ Chelsey♥


  • heavenbird gold member
    March 12
    Edit | Reply
    13 -


    forbidden.

1 - 12 of 12