Ima Q and Tilly T
One sunny day when Ima Q was strolling down the street
He spied a hot tomato by the name of Tilly T.
As she approached him, faster his cucumber heart would beat
and, as their eyes locked, each no other vegtibule could see.
Though Ima had a girl already, therefore was not free,
he wanted this extremely hot tomato very much.
He dumped Fiona Radish and took up with Tilly T,
who had the smoothest skin and bigger pips for him to touch.
So, Tilly T, he wined and dined in restaurants each night
but found that she was squashy and required most careful handling.
He kept his hands quite to himself till he worked out his plight
and how to solve this very tricky problem without bungling.
Now, Tilly thought it rather strange he never fondled her
and asked him: “I’ve been told that you are gay, well, is that true?”
“Of course I’m not! My enemies just cast this rotten slur
because I will not drink with them while I’m in love with you.”
Fiona Radish planned to get him back from Tilly T
for, though he was unfaithful, Ima still gave her the hots
and so, she plotted night and day to find out where might be,
about her ripe tomato flesh, Till’s vulnerable spots.
Now everybody knows that if you pull the upper stalk,
tomatoes ripen quicker if not kept inside a fridge
what’s more, when that is done they lose ability to talk.
(That’s why it’s very rare to find tomatoes playing bridge!)
Fiona was determined and no subterfuge would balk
in her attempt Sir Ima’s prior affection to regain
and, creeping up on Tilly T, wrenched out her maiden-stalk
oblivious to the spurting juice and tearful cries of pain.
Immediately Tilly T was robbed of power to speak
and, as she daily ripened, so Sir Ima’s ardour waned
for Tilly’s gorgeous, glossy skin with every passing week,
discoloured, then it wrinkled and, eventually, got stained.
Sir Ima, quite disgusted, knew that he no longer felt
his former love for Tilly who was now completely dumb
and, what was worse, blowflies were buzzing round her ‘coz she smelled,
especially on summer days, just like a horse’s bum.
Eventually, Sir Ima grasped the error of his ways,
and, looking for a girlfriend he could feel was dinkum oil,
went hunting in King’s Cross in vain and, after several days,
decided to take up again with clean Fiona Boyle.
I hope this tale will prove to all that Ima is NOT gay
and anyone who says he is, is very much astray..
Jenelda White March 12th 2009-03-12
Je-ne-l-da
Author notes
3. Write a poem about an AllPoetry friend.
In a list
A contest entry
- Huguenauties Contest No.#42 for MEMBERS OF HUGH WYLES FAVOURITES GROUP ONLY by huguenauties.
750 points, ended March 24, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
A shocking tale of a woman scorned
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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excellent~
Ha ha
This was such a cute read...thanks for the grin
Yes..at least she took him back
Needed that so much
Best of luck in the contest
Hugs
Susan~~~
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Hahahaha What a beaut story Jen, that will teach Ima Q not to cheat on Fiona Boyle, at least she took him back.
Love Hine.
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You convinced me! I enjoyed your fun-to-read story about Ima Q and Tilly T!
Best of Luck in this contest!
Hugs,
♥ Maureen
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Great story Jen, Sir Ima should've stuck with Fiona Radish instead of going after Tilly T. But she won him back in the end. I enjoyed reading about them. Good luck in the contest.
Love AJ
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Very shocking!
You have a talent for telling stories, and you hid a lot of wonderful humour in it, too! I enjoyed reading and respect Fiona for her persistence.
Well done and good luck!
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Thank you Margaret.
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Ima appears to have many females strung along his vine. I think Ima's fickle which seems to place him in quite a pickle.
It's ashame Tilly T broke down so quickly after Fiona plucked her. Tomatoes have such a short shelf life compared to radishes. It's just a fact of produce.
Very funny write
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Sir Ima is so fortunate to have Fiona stick by him. Not many would do that, vegie or not. While raddishes are not as huggable as tomatoes, longevity holds a great deal of consideration... so, Ima, I hope you've learned your lesson and will return the love which Fiona has for you. (But don't be too surprised id her head is turned by a finely sculptured dependable onion)
This is hilarious, Jen, and I wish you the best of luck in the contest
Dee
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How cute! How it was the lure of the huggable tomaot that caught me! A raddish just isn't as huggable!
No I am not gay! I'm just very particular about the female veggies I hang out with! Ok, there was that one time with that string bean...but I was drunk, I swear!
Yay, you wrote about me...and I can vote! Not like that poor Yem who has to be judge.
Thanks Jen-el-da, this is cute.
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Dear Jen-el-da
This tale of infidelity
quite sadly grips my heart
for Ima's imbecility
from F.R.Boyle to part.
He should have known tomatoes are
not faithful like a Radish
and just to dump Fiona R.
was definitely caddish.
When Tilly T began to smell
and he gave her the sack,
Fiona might say: "Go to hell!
I do not want you back!"
And I must say that, in The Cross,
no mattar how you try,
those sheilas are a bloody loss.
Not worth your dinky-di.
Tomatoes tend to stimulate
until they burst and crack
and Ima's bloody lucky mate
to get his radish back.
At least one thing with humour you
have now put right away
and that's the wicked rumour that
Sir Ima Q is gay.
Love and hugs and XOXOXO
thunderous applause for a really GREAT story. ROFLMAO
from Heathcote, Hubertus Hyde and Hugh (R.)
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