I’m walking down the hall and
I see a group of people
They are all different.
At first glance they look like a happy group.
We have the Billboard Girl
She’s Head Cheerleader,
With a size zero waist,
Beach blond hair,
And a cute little smile.
The girl every guy wants.
We have the Billboard Guy
He’s Captain of the Football Team,
With his washboard abs,
Shaggy blond hair,
And sexy looking eyes.
The guy every girl wants.
We have the Strait A Student
He’s getting a scholarship to Harvard,
With his parents involved in his life,
Him active in his church,
And lots of money to spare.
The life every kid wants.
We have the Outgoing Artist
She’s won a National Competition on violin,
With long brown hair,
Award winning sketches,
And a meeting with the President.
The recognition everyone wants.
But let’s take a closer look.
Billboard Girl slept with half the
Football team didn’t she?
Billboard Guy got a girl pregnant didn’t he?
Yes, I turn around and there she is the Artist.
Artist just stands there with a
Slight bulge in her belly,
And vivid bruises all over her arms and neck
Because her father beat her when he found
out.
And Strait A Student has a fading black eye
And a fat lip,
Because he was beat up for sharing his
religion.
Billboard Girl walks up to some guy
And asks for a hug and kiss.
Billboard Guy turns and makes
Booty calls to a group of
Girls that are walking down the hall.
Strait A Student walks up to me
Says, “Jesus loves you.” And leaves,
Carefully avoiding a group of guys,
That start to follow him out the door.
Artist just stands there.
Then she grabs something out of her
backpack.
It’s a vial of poison.
She looks down at her stomach and
whispers,
“I love you. I’m sorry.”
Then she chugs the bottle.
After a minute she starts to breathe harder.
Then she starts to shake.
Five minuets later she collapses.
I look around and no one noticed.
She just killed herself and no one cares.
I turn and leave the hallway,
Letting people go on living their own
Fake Lives.
Author notes
A contest entry
- I Wanna Feel You Inside I Wanna Feel Alive by HisBreathlessDream.
750 points, ended November 23, 2006, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - High School ~Ups And Downs~ by Dead Hair.
450 points, ended August 1, 2007, 19 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - PREWRITE POEMS BUT I WANT SAD ONES by BuffSMGfan3.
300 points, ended July 20, 2008, 6 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Largest Contest On AP!!!! by xxRainbowDawnxx.
3000 points, ended August 26, 2008, 1668 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ANYTHING GO'S EVERYONE WELCOME by Stormy Days.
450 points, ended October 16, 2008, 34 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 28 of 28
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wow that poem is amzing i says everything about how life really is how everybody acts like somebody thir not and nobody cares bout anybody but them selfs i loved it
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This is really good i like how u explained how that type of persons life looked like then what it was really like really good word choice
Thanks For Entering
~Mystal~
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great write ur makin sad thats what i want u will be considered.
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Omg! I want to kill that 'billboard boy', I'll fucking strangle that manwhore!!!
*seethe* Sorry, *sweatdrop* I have a personal thing against manwhores. 
I feel so bad for the straight A student and the art girl, so sad how the genuine suffer...
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Poignant
Very moving piece! There's a lot of truth to these lines. It's so true with everyone that what you see may not be the whole story. Everyone has secrets. You did a great job with the imagery in this piece. Very descriptive and telling.
I noticed a few typo's, spelling errors, only minor things that a quick edit would fix. It didn't detract from the impact of this write. Very well done. Congrats on the HM!
~Lori
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Horrifyingly Beautiful
I LOVED THIS PIECE!!!!!
wow... intensity at it's best I will write more at time of judging.
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wonderful.
Wow, This was amazing.
I really enjoyed reading this writing.
It captured the clicks so well.
---- CLICKS SUCK!
But its true.
ahhhhhhhhhhh, great write!!!
thank you for entering the contest && good luck!! -
Awsome
Hey there twisted, hehe but i know your real name! I know i have read this poem before, but I would like to say again how much i love it. really trully -
Awesome
That was an awesome poem! A little cliche mind you, but still really good. I think between stanzas could use a little cleaning up, each stanza alone is amazing but somehow the switch feels... off. Maybe I'm just tired, lol. Yeah vile should be vial and.. Really good poem
~Zeek -
Nicely expressed, but someone should tell you (so I will, no one else seems to want to mention it) that 'vile' means bad and disgusting, and poison comes in 'vials'.
(Spell-check is so useless sometimes: it won't tell you when you spell the wrong word, as long as you spell it right.) -
Thanks - this had some good (okay, a little cliche, but good) insight about the sacrifices we make to belong. It's interesting that you've talked about how these people conform to a type, and therefore are part of a collective, but we never see the rest of their group. They're the representatives for a collection of superficially similar people who are apparently out doing something else, not supporting their leader. I also thought it was interesting that "no one cares": so why do we bother trying to belong? This is a pre-write, yes? I'd really like it if you could rework it a bit to fit in more with the themes of the contest, but of course you don't have to.
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Yes, this would fit my contest as it adressed a population that is often coined dramatic and not taken seriously; when if fact, they should be looked at as seriously as any other age group for the simple fact that within the next decade of so, these are the people whom would be ruling our country, and probably still holding a shiel dof false identity that will; as cause and effect go, display future problems.
I like this write, and I will add a category called "teen Drama" and see how the AP population reacts to that topic.
Thank you for sending me here. Best wishes... ~genielassie~ -
You've got a few spelling errors and normally I wouldn't applaud a poem with such errors but the thought and idea behind this is so powerful that I chose to overlook the errors. you've done very well.
M -
oh wow... I hate saying that as its what every other half-thinking commenter on this site says, but, well... I wish I could explain just how deeply this resonated with me. I just pray that you aren't Artist Girl, or at the very least that this isn't an autobiography (minus the dying part).
keep penning,
~^_^~ -
Oh it was wonderful..just great. It kinda made me want to cry for that unborn baby that was inside..but it just added to the poem...This is just awesome..The way that you have with words..I really can't say that I enjoy anybody else's poems this much..Not even my own or my husband or my sister..shhh don't tell them..LOL This is amazing..I will be sure to tell my family to check it out..Your so good..Keep up the excellent writes..
Bambie -
wow that was an awesome poem. seriously amazing. It's so true to. everyone sees what they want to. no one really knows anyone. You totally deserve the trophy.
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oh wow...ok..how true is this?? TRUE TRUE!!! ok ok, this is really good, ironic..i found out this girl in my school..16..is pregnant..and she doesn't know who the father is...crazy. anyway..this is really good...GOOD good
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wickedly great
very incredibly intriquing this is definetly a winner in my book and i would say you have a very good chance of winning the contest but we shall see wont we this had a great visual and so easy to see because of how well thought your descriptions were this is classic and definetly gets you added to my fav poets on my autors page -
Girl, you never cease to amaze me! Congrats on the bronze, you deserve it!
Luv ya!
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Well done!
Congratulations to you on winning bronze. Your story here was so true and yet so sad. I really like how you set this up as it was so different and so unique. Keep it up and never stop writing.
May the colours of the rainbow follow you always.
Smiles always,
Kristina
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This is so amazing. I can't say anything more than that. Perfection - absolute. Keep up the good work. Barbie. Xx
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I definitely enjoyed this partly because I'm into researching high school stereotypes and it's always nice to have someone who know what they are talking about post such a terrific poem on the topic. You definitely deserved the bronze, this was a wonderful piece. I love how you portray what you see at the first glance when you look at someone and then what the second glance reveals. I was somewhat upset you didn't include a weird goth girl in your poem, but I suppose an artist is weird enough. Great job!
~Anastasia -
CONGRATULATIONS TO YOUR BRONZE
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Hmm...So true. I try to not judge books by their covers. There is always something hidden inside that no one sees. Me, I have to facade of an asshole in class...though, most see through it. They see that im a good guy. Still, they miss that im really always feeling low about something.
I liked this poem. I can really relate to it. Thanx for sharing and congrats at taking a cup.
Peace
"Life is a garden. Dig it" -- Joe Dirt
"Keep on keepin' on" -- Joe Dirt
_--_-- Colle the Hobbit --_--_ -
Dear lord!!!!!!
Ain't that the truth......
The only thing I didn't like about this poem were
a few spelling errors... sorry, my mom's a teacher,
and I got it from her, I get VERY annoyed seeing that..
Usually I see spelling errors and I say, "nope! Not a winner..."
But I am overlooking that because this poem is so true...
Change the mistakes and I'll see about this one...
Thanks for entering!
Always,
Little Poet14
~ ~
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awesome
wow wonderful job. this is so true. people can make everyone believe wut they want, but it is never the truth. in this poem i would probably be the straight A type student, but when i share my faith, nobody beats me up, they just ignore me. but well done, and keep on writing cause this is just awesome -
AWESOME
THIS IS MY FAVORITE POEM, I'M SO GLAD YOU POSTED IT!!!!
It's so real, I almost feel like I know the people you're talking about. Nobody seems to care about anyone anymore. I love this poem, I think it's awesome, & I'm giving it applause!!
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HELL YEAH CHIC!
wow. I'm so speechless. Its true... no one cares that their lives are fake or that people are killing themselves even though they seem happy. it kinda reminds me of that song "Stole" they both 9 meaning poem and song) make me cry.... this is so my fav of all of your 2 poems, lol. but its REALLY good.
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