So I jump right in
The water is freezing
Just like your eyes
Frosting over
After years and years
Of this messy occupation
One that deals with
Taking care of children
And burdens being thrown
Upon your back
Lies my weights
And you know I feel guilty
Your eyes are still
Warm even though
They've gotten colder
The waters start
To warm up
And they remind me of you
As you sit there
And view the drowning
And decaying of my soul
A funeral, possibly
For our love
For our accquiantance
You are so out
Of my league
That I cannot say a thing
Even if I wanted
To delve into
Your blue eyes
I know that I
Cannot because
It's forbidden
In this way
The water isn't fair
Because it beckons me
It beckons me to
Do terrible things
And it makes me think
Think about how
Your lovely blues
Would caress my soul
Such thirsts can only
Be quenched
By these cold waves
As you watch me
Slowly, eagerly
Possibly for the last time
Author notes
Inspired by "Weird Fishes/Arpeggi" by Radiohead
-daggertrepe
With hands held high into a sky so blue as the oceans open up and swallow you-linkin park
A contest entry
- Song you can relate too by DeathlyAngel.
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Honorable mention
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Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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very pretty poem
thanks for entering -
Thank you Thank you Thank you I was hoping someone would use this quote
good luck
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Yes, because the boy I <3 has beautiful blue eyes.
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Quite a long piece, but I got through it. It is very well written, though the form annoyed me a bit. But, that's just me. The imagery was amazing, and you should really be proud of this one. Good job!
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...RADIOHEAD!!! Been a fan of them since the age of nine...my dad would constantly play their albums in the background to me at a very young age...
...you seem to get the serene and calm structure of this song very well with the use of three stanza verses...
...the context is rather clear...the use of water (metaphorical is it?) is very clever and the use of water for life and death is an amazing juxtaposition to use...it all seems like someone stuck loads of really tidy footnotes together all telling the same story just to explain all the confusion in their head...again though this is how I interprate it...this is probably one of the better songs on the in rainbows album also...so...very good choice...
...I read it a few more times and it is growing on me even more...there are a few things I'm trying to figure out with the context but this looks amazing...what's more I like a challenge...so...well done...
Oliver
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Thank you so much! I'm glad you caught on to the meaning of the poem. I love Radiohead, and Weird Fishes is my favorite song in the world. I just had to write about it.
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wow i can really picture this...amazing write
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I can kinda relate to this. I mean I know what its like to want someone, but can't for reasons.
I think you did a great job.
Good luck in my contest -
i can completely relate to thisss. that feeling of constantly being drawn to someone but being unable to have them.. and wanting them no matter how they change. my favorite part is
"The water is freezing
Just like your eyes"
i know exactly how that is.. and i thought your brevity there was really effective. i definitely felt the cold.
the only part that botehred me was the caring for children part.. i didn't really understand how that was relevant. it seemed kind of out of place -
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The thing is, I kinda had some complicated feelings for a man who took care of children in a way, I guess. Don't be alarmed--it's nothing bad. I suppose it really wasn't all too relative, but I wanted to describe the man with hints and things, but I don't want to fully describe him. You know, to leave you to think. Thanks for the comment.
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