i starve myself to put my mind to sleep.
the gnawing crawling through me
wears my body down until i cave in,
finally give in, to cruel dreams.
coffee and little white pills keep me alive.
and if this dangerous malnutrition eases
the disgust that hangs on everything you touch,
if it quiets the knowledge that i have lost myself
again in your eyes, i don't care,
i don't care about the pain.
you know i was already insane.
