Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

progress

The feeling you give me cannot be described by many.
Only God in his love for the world could understand what I feel.
There are days I feel even He cannot grasp just how amazing you are.

Your desire to be inside me is as great as your desire to be around me.
My lust for your mind is as great as my lust for your heart.
An appetite for your words that could fill the belly of Africa.

Seeing you, like Jesus saw Mary, covered in the filth of the world; wanting to be covered in it with you.
With my every breathe, feeling back to the days when being near you was not dream but reality.
Trying to focus on anything other than the eternal butterflies and the sweet somber kisses.

Never forgetting that I will always be here, waiting for you.
Always hoping that we as a unit can be stronger than we are.
And having faith in every word of love that I have ever spoken.
Let it see you through the harder times, after all that's what love is.

Author notes

Ok I really want to fix this but I don't know how. I was thinking and my mind wandered so I am not sure what I should do to keep it on track or add and delete something. URGH HELP!!!!!

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • lyricist
    March 26

    Edit | Reply
    what you need to fix?! an appetite for your words that could fill the belly of Africa?! what! this poem is hot and well written. plus you named it progress. thats live. good piece

  • humz, you were so confused in this write, may be you didn't know what you were writing
    but it's nice to read such write. you are really good with words


    by
    the poet of hearts and beautiful words

  • Beautiful

    This poem is amazing I loved it. It flows nicely and the emotion within your words is pure. You did a great job and I honestly can't see any corrections that are needed. Great job. Great read. Keep up the great work : )


  • couldbeworse
    March 12
    Edit | Reply
    I LOVED the piece but the background was distracting....made it hard for me to read but that might be just me. such a sentimental piece and I could tell you really love this person. The emotions really poured out. I like the franknesss of the "voice" in the piece. it was like you were speaking...raw like. great work.

1 - 5 of 5