Monsterousity

 She tucked me into my bed and kissed me in my forehead before she said good night. As she walked towards the door she turn off the light and slowly shut the door on her way out. It’s a bit dark in the room but the light from the lamp post across the road gave off a little light so I was able to saw the whole room. Slowly, I closed my weary eyes and rested my whole body comfortably when a loud noise exploded through out the room. A noise that until now I can’t explain or describe what it likes. It wakes me up and stunned me terribly. Can’t figure out what or where it came from. I screamed with all my might so my mom can hear me. I’m waiting for her to open the door and turn on the light but she didn’t came. The closet on my left side catches my attention and it’s like there something inside the closet that trying to get out. I want to get out of my bed and run to the door but every muscle in my body was in paralyzed. I’m so shocked that my body would not respond. So, I hid underneath my blanket and slowly raised my head to took a fast glimpse of the closet. Whatever it was inside the closet got so wild and almost broke the door of the closet. Then a roaring sound followed and made me fell out of the bed. I was lying in the floor when I dark figure started to emerge in front of my face. I’m so nervous that I didn’t noticed that I already peed in my pajamas. Then the dark figure embraced me tightly and tried to enter my body.

Until now, I can still remember and feel that he wants to merge with my body and soul and hoping that soon we will become one.

I was 8 years old then when I had my first encounter with the dark figure in my closet and from that on I named him “Max”. Every single night for how many weeks, he tends to appeared in my closet and disturbed my quite night with his roaring sound. But every time I pray to Him, “Max” will calm down and eventually disappear. Until one time he just stopped visiting me. And no more roaring sound in my closet. I didn’t know what caused him to stop his visitations and I’m very glad that I owned again the tranquility of the quite night of my room.

After the first terrible incident in my room, I know my life was about to change and it also gave me a hint that the turning point of my whole being is on its way. I didn’t tell not even a single soul what happened that strange night because not that I’m afraid but I’m more on concern of what they will say to me.

Years passed and many major events took place in my life, some was tragic and only few that I can consider to be a good one and “Max”, he didn’t showed up again in my closet. And I even forgot all about him and the nights he was in my closet.

I’m in my third year in high school when I started to enter the roller coaster ride of my life. Those were the times that I wanted to explore the world and experienced the things that I never did in my previous years.

It was also the time when “Max” started to reappear in my closet but these time he was so different from the first time I encountered him.

He can appear anywhere and anytime he likes. He grew even stronger because how much I tried to pray he would not easily left me. And also I can felt his presence intensely it’s liked I’m getting closer and closer to him each day. I heard his voice so loud and clear not like before only his roaring sound was audible to me.

There was even a time, when I went out for a dinner date with Leah and I witnessed what he was capable of. “Max” destroyed my most awaited night of my life when I about to proposed to her my feelings. Instantly, “Max” ruined the night and the girl I loved for many years.

Every time I fell in love or I’m in a relationship with my girlfriends, the dark figure always has the way to wreck the relationship I tried to build. I tried my very best to understand and comprehend the things that happened in my life. I was in my lowest point when the depression took control of my life and rammed it to the wall of suicidal tendencies. Unable to get rid “Max” in my life; I entertained all the vices that they offered to me. But I failed and it turns out that it only aggravated and magnified the issues I had.

“Max” continued to bother and pushed my sanity and I can’t stand it anymore. One night, I knelled and prayed to God. I asked him what was happening to me. And I said to Him “You said you love me. You said I’m your son. You also said that You will not give us a problem that we would not find a solution. Is this a punishment or just a trail in my life? Why did You gave an 8 year old kid with that kind of problem? Do You think I can handle that problem with my tender age? Please answer me!” All the feelings and emotions I kept inside in one moment it poured out. Each tear that rolled in my cheeks was a cocktail of mixed emotions. All the sadness, angst, frustrations and anger flowed out freely.

I assessed and talked to myself and tried to came up for an answer to vanquished “Max”.

Then an old friend came up to me and he said “the only way to vanquish the dark figure in your closet is to accept who really he is...” “Accept him with all your heart and everything will follow nicely. If that happen pick up all the pieces that has been scattered in your life and move on.” I’m so thrilled after he left me with that advice. Since then I kept thinking if that was really the answer and if I’ll do that… but I’m afraid with what other people will tell me.

Many sleepless nights passed, but I could not reach my right mind to understand the situation.

Then one night, I decided to take the chance and confronted him. It took so many guts and courage for me just to stepped in front of the closet.

My fingers were numbed when I about to touch the door knob. But I continued to open the door then I said to myself “Whatever it is in my closet I must over come it because this is my closet and this my room… and all these are mine.” I opened the door with all my strength and a gust of wind that came from inside the closet pushed me a little. The coldness of it overpowered my body. I scanned the whole thing to look for him but he was not there. All I saw was this big mirror standing in front of me and I saw my own reflection. I shivered when I saw my own face; he looks so tired and lonely. I stepped forward and touched the mirror with my finger tips then a bright light devoured the whole closet and a rushed of memories engulfed me. The bright light took me in time when I'm was 8 years old and the first time I encountered “Max”. I was standing at the window and there was I so scared of the dark figure. When “Max” was about to held the kid, I panicked and I wanted him to stop but I can’t move my body. Then suddenly, Max’s face turned into something that I couldn’t recognized. And everything in the room became so blurry and my knees were so weak. I collapsed on the floor and everything in the room went black. Then the bright light appeared again and it took me right there in front of the huge mirror inside the closet. Then my own image smiled at me and disappears. After that everything in the room went normal. I went back to my bed and sat for a while. Then I remembered when I about to collapsed, I saw Max’s face was turned into something… something liked my own face.

Days passed after that, many things changed in my life and every pieces of it, I started to put in the right place. Right now I’m already enjoying my life and no more nightmares at night. And now I’m working a plan on how to tell and introduce to my mom who really was “Max” is. Maybe not now but soon, real soon.