i.
I wrapped rotting concrete
around growing insecurities
and convinced myself
that it was tissue paper--
so when he tugged,
I wouldn't tear
and I'd still keep my dignity
intact...
so I slipped into slumber,
as comatosed ails
carried away all thought--
until I awoke,
torn into tatters
and I have no note
of recollection
for those hours of missing miles.
ii.
I remember rising
and surprising myself
as morning made more craziness
than sense
and I batted reactions
at shuttlecock speed
to abet destruction
that had yet to occur.
iii.
Confusion served a deadly storm
pushing self overboard
twice,
to wade as waves
unsaved and unresolved,
into beds
of nothing's worth
whilst plea's protections
became paramount,
as push grew
to know sharp shove
and flesh above fear's waterline
submerged itself...till gone.
Such stubbornness sought
no respite,
as it sank
with weights attached--
because pride didn't know
how to interact
with lifebelts of loyalty.
iv.
My fingers felt that depth-riddled dirge
fill love with dirtied deeds,
until virtuoso remedies
could no longer barely breathe.
And so my legs to life
lent down
to frown on falling names...
to shelter him
from shameful me
and the struggle I've become.
v.
He's treading saline smears now,
while woes
wash me sane within
but the button bled
whilst he was led
to places he'd never been
and regrets rip tissue's taunts
again
as concrete collapses
where it is due
yet I didn't mean
to sketch his sores,
nor shift our shore
from inside his soul.
vi.
I've licked learning
on a lilo-ride
to care,
aware that second sighs
come at cost--
at proof
and still at sight;
my words have drowned
in nothingness
and vulnerability
has wet a wider void;
when love's truth should have stated
that i quite simply
cannot swim.



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