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Brittle

Dont let it be another lost cause
Wine glass,
Shattered and seeping
Languidly, un-noticed.

They give way to gravity
In slow motion.
Chaos thriving around me
as I sit in the middle,
Still and predicting.

Moving closer to the ground
with every mention,every smile
you laugh with her
At the sound of the crash
Then leave for better places.

So, what do you think!?

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Comments


  • darling
    March 27

    Edit | Reply

    "At the sound of the crash
    Then leave for better places"
    excellent.you really set the tone,the mood,so that the reader can really feel it.Remarkable as usual my dear xxxxxxx


  • arafura gold member
    March 13
    Edit | Reply
    Very good. I enjoyed the read a lot! I can see it... I can feel it... Bravo!


  • Nisk
    March 12

    Edit | Reply

    It's always what you say

    If I had to start exploring the theme I would touch that mixed up notion of deja vu and atavism. It's like remembering all the good things before leaving, the fear of loosing those memories. Knowing better never meant less.

    But that's probably just my percetion, at least that's what this poem brought out in me.


  • Pink Absinthe
    March 11

    Edit | Reply
    I like the line 'give way to gravity'. it's really interesting, and im trying to understand it but i think i'll have to think longer to get it.

    nice flow and good language
    x