Before I ever suspect you want me,
kiss me hard from out of nowhere,
then go off and make yourself a sandwich
and let me simmer
just when I've almost forgotten that,
pull me close enough to feel
your smile, and whisper how lucky you are
to be with me
almost walk away
but stop
to brush your fingers through my hair
exposing bare, tingling neck
to soft, hot kisses
laugh a little
then bite me once, but not too hard,
to remind me I'm delicious
take my hands in yours
savor each fingertip, lollipops
inside smooth, discriminating lips,
finally leaving them to fall, intoxicated,
at my sides
allow your palms to cup my shoulders
then wander down
just beneath the edges of my blouse
meeting together in front,
in skillful expedition
brush lightly the shrines
of two buried cities
awakening twinned goddesses
creep tenderly down the curve of my waist
leaving trails of sensation
all along that sloping ravine
explore the small of my back
discovering my center
like it's the first time
glide lower, slower
then grab me so tight you might
pull pieces of me away
to tuck in your pockets
for later, when you're needing to touch me most
. . . all the while,
hold me still with stark, concentrated eyes
dissect my soul
carving deep the hidden parts
before I can escape you,
pin me to the back of the door
press your heat against me
let your tongue search for mine
and find it hungry
sweep me up,
carry me now in taut arms
while I feel the muscles swell in you
. . . and me
then lay me down
beneath a river of moonshine
flooding the shadows,
drenching my sponge-thirsty skin
promise me, without words,
there's plenty more
where all that came from
or,
turn on
the tv
and ask me to pass the remote
Author notes
Contest prompt: write to reflect a classic poet and make them smile
I chose Elizabeth Barrett Browning and her poem "A Man's Requirements" as my inspiration.
http://allpoetry.com/opoem/10273-Elizabeth-Barrett-Browning-A-Man-s-Requirements-wbr-
In a list
- 1-Golds • next in list
- Sensual • next in list
- 0-Personal Favorites • next in list
- Humor • next in list
- My top favorites, from my favorites • next in list
A contest entry
- Make Them Smile- great Old Poet inspiration by Peteskid.
2000 points, ended March 15, 8 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 22 of 22
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This is a wonderful sensual write.
You have well-crafted it with poetic devices.
Congrats on the Gold.
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"Before I ever suspect you want me,
kiss me hard from out of nowhere,
then go off and make yourself a sandwich
and let me simmer..."from beginning to end...you had me.
these are words that should be framed
and given to all lovers.
Love, Lane
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Oh this is a glorious piece of poetic poetry, shining with brilliance
Im very impressed, so vivid in splendid depth and feeling.
You painted such a romantic picture, and left me stunned at the end
thanks for sharing your heart and talent.
Be blessed in all you do.
Tony
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Lol. I loved the last line. Awesome job again! Keep up the great work and thanks so much for sharing. Awesome job.
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Again this is one of the most fantastic poems ever written
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You are delicious Ten-excellent when a woman can properly tell us men the way it should be...pass the remote...peace
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OMG this is like asking for subliminal seduction and then there's the explosion
whew
sensually nerve wracking. truly enjoyed reading.
my heart is beating faster[pulse,pulse]...and I am still catching my breath
excellent, excellent
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I think how you ended this, gave the beginning so much more potent meaning. Way to make a point, and another well penned piece for you once again my friend, bravo.
Timothy aka poeticweaver~ xo
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Judging ...
from the crescendo arising from your cheering section, there's nothing left for me to say.
Good luck in the contest.
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ok -- i love this, but i could totally do without the tv & remote part at the end!! what??? get me all worked up and then press the 'wrong buttons'....no way
your voice is powerfully sensual & the words press the right ones all the way throughout the poem. this is wonderfully sensual -- much enjoyed this comparison of a woman's buttons or a remote..lol
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Hot Stuff!
" ... skillful expedition ... "
Indeed!
Must admit, I'm awed by the grace of these instructions, inspired, too.
What color is that blouse?
Frankly, I didn't think of EBB when I was reading this. Struck me as fresh and the product of intense reflection. Not the slightest bit derivative.
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I think a guy worth his salt should be able to pull that off, even after many years of marriage. This is a guy who can't keep a woman interested for more than three years, so take that with a grain of salt, lol
I'm taking notes here, maybe when the time comes it'll help me make it past the three year mark. lol. I have high hopes now.
I wondr if the last part is even needed. I know what you are doing there...showing the contrast between the speaker's wishes and the reality, but it just seems to detract and is a little anti-climactic since the whole poem seems to point to that sentiment. But true, looking again, it does need to end with some type of statement of the real situation.
Sensuous, beautiful. All things (except the biting) that I plan to do in the not too distant future...knock on wood.
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I am not saying a word, this says it all! Bravo....
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oh and love the ending
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YAY!!!!!!!!!
I had so much fun reading this
You chose a great poem by my favorite poetess, EBB. She shares my heart with Robert F. ....This poem reflects the beauty of her poetry but with a big dash of wilder romance and seduction lol....perhaps a modern day EBB??? lol ..I love it!
Best of luck in the contest...This was a pleasure to read
I am so glad I clicked
Lynda
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Fabulous title! Tender, passionate and precious description of the sensory and emotional bliss, heart and soul engagement that can exist and ever be rediscovered. Lovely lollipops! Excellent "shrines of two buried cities/awakening twinned goddesses." Outstanding "pull pieces of me away to tuck in your pockets for later, when you're needing to touch me most." Intense "drenching my sponge-thirsty skin". Brilliant conclusion. I absolutely loved this!
Outstanding, ten!
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Woman, your poem is very hot with all the qualities of a good erotic poem.
The images leave anyone to imagine even more and the end is very unexpected, and I'm sure a possibility that wouldn't please any woman
Well done ten
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Well holy smokes
Am I glad I didn't enter this one
What a pure delight this is to read. Such a feast of emotion I almost felt I was intruding reading this. This is truly another sign of your classic talent, that will never date!
But oh my how you changed the mood with that totally unexpected ending.
You sure know how to surprise!!
Another stunning piece. I can't sing your praises enough.
Gaylene
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OHH MY GOSH!!!
HOLEE SMOKIES!! This was tantalizing and teasing my senses without mercy!!! whew goodness well til you woke me out of my rapturous daze with the last lines..CLASSIC I loved it, and will treasure the memory of such a fantastic work of art!
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[I have visited Old Poetry and read the comment there, Thank you] This is a wonderfully enthusiastic and cheerful poem, that reflects the Browning style so welll, the passion and joy of a relationship, seeing the physical and emotional sides, and noting the distinct enjoyments of each. Here there is color of desire, a woman expressing so much about her happiness; and the freedom to reveal so much of inner thoughts and feelings; and then as inthe Browning poem the moment of truth, delightful lighthearted truth. This poem is about the bites of satire too. Excellent, I think EBB would give a smile [ and her version of ain't it the truth!] Thank you for this fine entry into the contest and best of luck in the judging...PK
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Such a poet your are...but for the fact that I am drooling on my keyboard I should be forever in bliss...so unique you roadmap to heaven...I am throwing my remote in the garbage this very second...just in case sometime in the next decade...or two (twinned temples) I should have to make such a choice...this one is for certain a winner
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LOL I didn't expect those final lines but damn I laughed so hard I almost fell off my chair C
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