You are Ridiculous

By your jurisdiction
I'm a contradiction.
You smile and wave me over
I ignore you
Your petty grins won't capture me
I will not find myself entranced in your glorious eyes
The deepest brown I have ever seen.
Your ridiculous curly hair.
Why does it always look so damn perfect?
The charming freckles that dust your face.
I hate it.
I hate that I like you.
I never even see you for Christ sakes.
But when I do, it's like everything is okay.
All the shit in my life disappears.
Your smile envelops me in contentment
Even if it's not meant for anyone
I am a wreck
A serious fucking wreck
Bang my head against the wall?
That probably won't solve the problem.
It seems nothing will.
You just take my breath away.