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Beware the hidden mysteries

Welcome to my mind.
You have never seen it's kind.
But beware the hidden mysteries,
lost inside, are many histories.

It looks bright on the outside,
but beware, within creatures hide.
Creatures of my creation,
others, of my imagination.

Stay on the path,
for if you wonder.
You'll encounter my wrath,
So beware and ponder.

Is this adventure,
worth the trouble?

Beware indenture,

or your path you will redoubble.
 

So enter the forest of my mind.

Enter with caution, for you've never seen it's kind. 

Author notes

I wrote this a while ago and read it again. And laugh at my own foresights i wasn'tg aware of. This is poetry that is written not by the poet, but by life. Thank you for wandering this path of my mind. Please come another trail

A contest entry

lol

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Comments

1 - 7 of 7
  • the evil angel
    November 14

    Edit | Reply
    I like this. Short but to the point. I find your voice to be rather taunting in this write. I like that you can have such a clear voice in poems, for that is very difficult to do let me tell you.

    A few notes. First off, which picture is this based off of? Would you please let me know so i can judge your interpretation more thoroughly? Second off, you need to work on your grammar a bit here. Punctuation seems to be your weak point. If you're going to have it, it might as well be correct, right? So for the grammar:

    Its, not it's. It's means it is, its shows possession. But beware the hidden mysteries, lost inside, are many histories. There are many ways you can fix this, but I would suggest changing the first comma to a semicolon and getting rid of the second comma. Stay on the path, for if you wonder. First off, it is wander, not wonder. Wonder is thinking wander is straying from a path. Second off, it's not a complete sentence. Get rid of the period and put a comma instead. Is this adventure, worth the trouble? Get rid of the comma. You don't need it. Redoubble should only have one b.

    And those are your grammar mistakes. I'm sorry if it seems I am being overly critical, but grammar is very important to me. Your poem in general captivates me, but loses some of its effect because I keep being drawn to a comma that shouldn't be there. You have a very strong poem here. With very little editing, it could be even stronger.

    Thank you for entering my contest... I'm soooooo sorry it is taking so long to get to all of my entries.


    • HeartBr8ker
      November 20
      Edit | Reply
      It was light pic A


    • HeartBr8ker
      November 20
      ?
      Edit | Reply

      thank you for the comment

      Thanks for the fixers. And yes I know the differance between wander and wonder. But your in my mind(So to speak) so its a wonder not wander. For your thoughts guide you through. Make a little more sense? And yes it is a weak point for me. Hey if I put you on the edit list wanna fix it for me? I don't have time to now, but I will also find the picture for you too. Thanks again for the comment very much appreciated.


  • movedon
    March 24

    Edit | Reply
    your background and txt color choice drive me insane. Is this adventure worth the trouble? I'd rather go through the trouble and take strength away from it in the futre rather than not take the adventure and be weaker in the future. Lovely write.

    love,
    mylee


  • Lady Juliet
    March 9

    Edit | Reply

    Oooohhhhh

    I like this.
    A lot. The font is a little bright (I'm not gonna lie)

    It explains sooooo much.
    Hahaha
    But, I honestly, truly, love it.
    Keep it up


    • HeartBr8ker
      March 9
      Edit | Reply

      Dark brightness

      Well my mind is a jungle and even I get lost sometimes without a guide. Yea I know it was bright on purpose. It was a prompt to write something dark about a light picture. So I wrote a darkish poem in in brightness. It's an oxymoron kinda thing.

1 - 7 of 7