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Love is in the details



I'm sick of morning glory -

 

 

 how the birds puke their songs
                   (like laughter)
     and plaster crap upon my window;

 


 how a low sun mentally merges
     magenta and orange
     to the deepest blue
     of holding on
                   (to nothing);

 


 how every day pulls me out
     of this twenty-fifth hour
       (the only hour you didn't stuff with lies)
     then gradually shoves me back to cliches
     like loneliness in a glass.

 


And that's only a detail.



A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 34 of 34

  • forbidden-colour
    August 10
    Edit | Reply
    Strange, I always though morning glory was... nevermind.
    Good piece here, better than the last!
    Thank you for entering.
    Sophie


  • amaranthine lover gold member
    April 22
    Edit | Reply

    24.4/25

    Amazing.


  • Jersene gold member
    April 2

    Edit | Reply
    I love the raw, emotion in this. It's honest and real and something anyone can relate to.

    as for the birds; I think they do it on purpose. They always plaster my car, not on the roof, but on the windshield, or side windows. I swear they're perched somewhere laughing.


  • Blue-Rose Beauty
    March 31
    Edit | Reply
    I liked it, just not a winner

  • Virgoan
    March 28

    Edit | Reply
    every now and then sickness strolls into our lives - a handful may be considered handy.

    another well written piece.


  • Heavenly Angel silver member
    March 22

    Edit | Reply
    Such a strong and emotive piece this is!
    Wow!
    I love the powerful thoughts and wording in this piece; you did very, very well!
    Thank you for sharing and for being part of the contest
    The best to you!


  • GC De Piazzi silver member
    March 18

    Edit | Reply
    Being a "morning person" I found your poem confronting but at the same time extremely well penned.
    "how a low sun mentally merges
    magenta and orange
    to the deepest blue
    of holding on
    (to nothing);"
    is an interesting and refreshing image of sunrise and throws the reader into the reality that the glory of sunrise is all in the mind. But then that is what life is all about - how you perceive it. Well done and congratulations.


  • Bean Sidhe silver member
    March 18

    Edit | Reply
    This is a deliciously tart piece of poetry. I love the sarcastic tone and the imagery is really something to be proud of, particularly referencing the sunrise.

    But I must admit that

    "how every day pulls me out
    of this twenty-fifth hour
    (the only hour you didn't stuff with lies)
    then gradually shoves me back to cliches
    like loneliness in a glass."

    is sheer magic. This is yet another contender for my favorite and I find judging this contest is going to be one for my record books.

    Thank you for your entry and good luck!

    - Beàn Sidħe


  • Brlsbb
    March 18

    Edit | Reply
    i thought that this was very deep and intersting was of expressing disgust for morning...
    " how a low sun mentally merges
    magenta and orange
    to the deepest blue
    of holding on
    (to nothing);"
    this was my fav stanza good write


  • Mari Goes gold member
    March 13

    Edit | Reply
    Funny, I was just talking about how the day is too short with only 24 hours.
    My lieveling, there are times when we must start to see bird crap as hm, as what...? flowers? Really, we are the ones who make all seems even worse than it is. We make the details, so better think of making them good

    I liked your poem!


  • xenawp
    March 11
    Edit | Reply
    very nice. deep and profound


  • Rashae
    March 11
    Edit | Reply
    You pull on the heart and campture emotion very well.


  • Denerica silver member
    March 11

    Edit | Reply
    Clever, well written piece...kinda mad at the world, emotions up and down...geniunly felt. Blessings.


  • Michael Pastore
    March 11

    Edit | Reply

    I like the structure

    What is really interesting (I have read the comments and like everyone else I think this is a really good piece of writing) but what really appeals to me is how you use the first and last lines. Your beginning is almost free of emotion, yet you dive in very deep thereafter. And the afterthought, the final line pulls everything together very very well. Congratulations!

  • Bassem
    March 10
    Edit | Reply

    Deep in sorrows chasm shines a well thought out piece of art!

    Great job in expressing your deep feelings through poetry! Keep it up!


  • SEA angel gold member
    March 10

    Edit | Reply

    Intense...

    You are a gifted writer and have a way to even make the mundane and bleak into a masterpiece of cleverly positioned words and images.


  • honorable mention
    March 10
    Edit | Reply
    wow!!! that deserves a full 3 applaud for this poem.


  • Nicolette gold member
    March 10

    Edit | Reply
    Intense expression of emotion here but I'm so happy to see that you are writing again - and then, something as expressive and well-written as this poem, Leander.


    Don't stay away so long again...

    ~ Nicolette


  • Subway
    March 10

    Edit | Reply
    You wrote this piece well... You do well with description... admittedly, somewhat of a weak piece.
    thanks for sharing


  • MathiasThom
    March 10
    Edit | Reply

    perfect

    sad emotions, but you definitely said so much, with so few lines...

    Hope you feel better!


  • poet2angels gold member
    March 10

    Edit | Reply
    It has been awhile since I have read you...
    I could feel the pain in every line and for that I am sorry but it brought forth brilliant poetry, as always from you...I always love reading you
    Congrats on the well deserved feature!
    's to you

    Lynda


  • Anna Emkah
    March 10

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, so powerful, but also so sad.
    You used magnificent words though...
    "puke songs" & "plaster crap".
    The "25th hour" is a great find!
    But.... it makes me sad to see you lonely - still.
    Leander, better not drown in your sadness,
    for there is more in this world.
    I can assure you, there are so many people who love you!
    You have to believe that!

    Your friend for several years already, Anna.


  • Poetic Tasha Moderators member
    March 9

    Edit | Reply
    love this write hun!!! you have a style all your own, and even more than that this is a fresh and unique spin on the mundane everyday reads lately! so very well done! thank you for sharing!

    Love, light & laughter
    Tasha


  • Unbreakable3
    March 9

    Edit | Reply
    This is interesting... i love the stanza about the sun! Thats very beautiful... but i can definitly tell your emotions! This was good.


  • BehindTheShadow
    March 9

    Edit | Reply

    I think that this is wonderfully wriiten about a very sad place to be.  I know, I'm here.  Great job.


  • Peteskid gold member
    March 9

    Edit | Reply
    25th hour is another way to find the new day, tomorrow where we can take full strides unbothered by the limits we knew yesterday... I like the bold imagery you have done here...a certain strength here...PK


  • Polaja Greeters member
    March 9
    Edit | Reply
    I loved the "like loneliness in a glass" line - it is packed with emotion and made me pause and imagine I think that the 't' in the "to nothing" brackets isn't italicised, but that is just a little thing the last line is defiantly sad, and I just love the way that you work with imagery brilliant!



    Polly

  • patrick20traveler
    March 9

    Edit | Reply
    This is really interesting. I like the contrast between the bird plaster and the colors of the sun, but that line, "this twenty-fifth hour/(the only hour you didn't stuff with lies)" is just great.


  • Kari gold member
    March 9

    Edit | Reply
    Glad to see you posting again

    I love what you said about the birds. Sometimes I wanna go outside and shoot them for the hell of it. gr.

    I love the ending..I mean I think this is one of my favorite pieces by you as of yet!


  • LadyElbereth
    March 9

    Edit | Reply

    Deep Thoughts

    I have to admit you really reeled me in you gift your reader so much intensity with so few words yet each word each line holds such deep meaning. I am partial to the use of colours in a number of ways especially the way you pay tribute to them in contrast by each colour in of themselves holds a boldness all there own. Then to compare them all to the vastness of nothing just like the setting suns left wake well this leaves me breathless for is not the lies, loneliness and heartbreak that all bask in the feeling of nothingness. My ultimate favourite line is “ like loneliness in a glass.” You gift me sight where I can imagine myself residing in this hollow place where I can see clearly but feel nothing. My heartfelt thank you for this most wondrous work. I am going to have to partake in some of your others things…again very nice write…

    Lady E


  • righteousme
    March 9

    Edit | Reply
    this was so you . but then again . not ... like you were caught up in the middle ... but i loved it all the same and i hope your heart is mending ... in the meantime ...


  • stasis
    March 9

    Edit | Reply
    You know, I think you're the only person that can pull off alliteration that doesn't irritate me obscenely.
    This is brilliant, truly, every single stanza was packed heavy with emotion and imagery.  It was like a punch in the stomach, which I love when it comes to poetry... not so much in the literal sense though [].

    You don't know me that well, but you can talk any time you need to.  I'm sorry you're going through such a hard time.



    ♣ Tegan


  • Parearoo
    March 9

    Edit | Reply

    Brilliant! (I love you!) *hug*

    This was very well written, Leander; I enjoyed it a lot. I really liked the "how every day pulls me out
    of this twenty-fifth hour
    (the only hour you didn't stuff with lies)" line. Each line of this poem flows gracefully into the next. Very nicely done.
    And, I'm really happy you're still writing!


  • Viyanna Rosemarie silver member
    March 9

    Edit | Reply
    very well done. i especially liked:

    how the birds puke their songs
    (like laughter)
    and plaster crap upon my window;

    it says so very much. thank you for sharing this with me today and i am looking forward to reading more from you. this is the first thing i have read today that has been worthy of applause and i gladly give it. viyanna rosemarie

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