Looking into your eyes
I wonder if your there
Im sorry about the lies
of a lost heart cold and bare
I wish I didnt hurt you
I wish that I could say
That I had never left you
and I was with you every day
But I could never say that
Though if I had one wish,I could.
If I could make you believe me
with every word I write,I would.
Im undeniably in love with you
And I could drown inside your eyes
I cant imagine life without you
you say you love me more but we have to compromise
I`ve spent a hard life searching
for a place that i could call home
I didnt know that that place
was in the girl I left all alone
So once again I`ll say to you
You saved me when you took me back
And I know you are forever my "PEA"
and I will always be your "MAC".
Author notes
I love the song "I Knew I loved you Before i met you".and it was true in our case...the first time i seen her i fell so completely....Written for my Pea. I love you soooooooooooooo much.
A contest entry
- "I KNEW I LOVED YOU BEFORE I MET YOU" by rinzurajan.
900 points, ended April 11, 29 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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I believe true love does indeed die, at the point of a lie.
I liked this poem for just one line, but that is all it takes, it certainly balloons this into the memorable class.
And I could drown inside your eyes
Very inspiring, after which I cant understand moveing the meter so drastically for just one line
you say you love me more but we have to compromise
This 13 syllable line amongst the 9 and 8 syllable, it slows the flow down at a fairly , in my opinion non-descript place? it would easily devide into two lines of similar nature from its surrounding companion lines. With no, as I see it, damage to the message.
Anyway that apart I did enjoy your poem, particularly that memoriable line. Thank you.
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Awe! This is so sweet! "And I could drown inside your eyes" I have felt like taht some many times with the same person. It's like you look in their eyes and you just get so lost in them and you end up drowning in their eyes. I think that was an awesome line. I also loved the ending "...you are forever my PEA and I will always be your MAC." I just love your writing.
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love's a trial at times, we find heartach and anger and pain and sorrow, but we also find great joy in knowing we have love.
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I love the flow here and the rhyme. If it were put to some great tune, it would be such a great love song.
Good luck..
KW~
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wow...thats a happy ending...when it all ends,the hope of being back is dead but i am glad ur back with her...
so very beautiful...
good luck -
This is beautifully written. I think this *should* be written for EVERY relationship. we all need to compromise... Some of us need to learn it a little more than others... but it needs to be learned. This is a wonderful piece of self discovery as well. Overall, a beautifully heartfelt piece. Great work!
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This is so heartfelt and moving and made me smile while I was reading it. I especially loved the pea and mac bit, makes it very personal
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Wow
This reminds me of exactly how I felt and yet not the end. i have not got her back. I don't think i ever will. But these words express so much. Jealous! I cant express myself that way. Love it! Keep on writing.
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Aw, this is really adorable. I love the ending- It gives you a happy feeling inside. =) Im glad that she took you back. You never know how true that quote is, 'you don't know what you have until it's gone,' until it actually happens to you. Beautiful write. And the rhyming is excellent, doesn't sound forced or anything.
Great write. <3
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nice..
really sweet..
i love it
keep up the good work!!!
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very sweet
This is a beautiful poem sweetie. It's full of wonderful emotion, and it flows quite well. I love the "drown inside your eyes" part. It's just amazing, and the end is delightful.
hugs,
Lauren
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