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Nanga Parbat

Missing image

 

 

 

You weren’t supposed
to hear me scream,


from the furthest side of the moon;
from the top of Nanga Parbat;
from an overgrown forest;
                    from beneath my pillow.

 


The girl who writes my
thoughts, who writes
my fears and feeds them
to the others

won’t let me sleep.


She screams at me in whispers
until I repeat her sanity
to the pile of feathers.

She wasn’t supposed to hear me
hold my breath...
                        But she did.


She forced mountain-fresh-air
into my naked lungs
through the pin-prick of hope
I ‘d been saving for the day
that I might reach the
                                 top.
                                  . .
                                 .   .
                               .       .
                             .           .

Author notes

Why Nanga Parbat?

Nanga Parbat
is the ninth highest mountain on Earth. Nanga Parbat means "Naked Mountain" in Urdu, parbat deriving from the Sanskrit word parvata  meaning "mountain, rock", and nanga from the Sanskrit word nagna  meaning "naked, bare". Known as the "Killer Mountain," Nanga Parbat was one of the deadliest of the eight-thousanders for climbers in the first half of the twentieth century; since that time it has been less so, though still an extremely serious climb. It is also an immense, dramatic peak that rises far above its surrounding terrain.
...
Taken from Wikipedia

 

 So that's the background of the naked mountain. I hope you can understand why I couldn't resist using it in this poem...

 

Image Credit

 

 

 

For contest "freeverse/prewrite city": I'm Silverscent.  Why did I write this? The same reason I write them all. It just came into my mind. It's not true to me, but it is my thoughts. It was inspired a lot by the idea of the mountain. 

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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • turpentine
    March 23
    Edit | Reply
    well written!


  • UnknownFemale
    March 16
    Edit | Reply
    I wouldn't revise this poem, I like it the way it is.
    Very nice.


  • carebear123
    March 13

    Edit | Reply
    i liked this very much. it seemed very serene and at the same time i felt some sadness. it was very nice and very deep. it makes u think. its a trophey well deserved!

  • Fogle-Warnick
    March 12
    Edit | Reply
    Well connected with nature , brings out a differant spirit in poetry good job

  • Topnotchsy
    March 10

    Edit | Reply
    Very cool piece. Love the title (and the little geography and history lesson.) Best of luck in the contest with this.

  • ichigosama
    March 9

    Edit | Reply

    ichigosama

    that was very profound. good choice. i really liked the part "you werent supposed to hear me scream". that's amazing and also the place you put it too. great job!!!!


  • CaliOkie silver member
    March 9

    Edit | Reply
    You touch on a profound truth here; there is a part of us that lives independently of our awareness and we sometimes catch a glimpse of that stranger in the mirror, or in the disbelieving looks of those around us, or on the pages we write.

    Getting to know that stranger is the work of a lifetime.

    Excellent write.

    Garrison

1 - 7 of 7