Fingers lightly touching the sun -
rays embracing skin.
I can taste the freshness of
the grass on my tongue as I
breathe in sweet air.
Soft clouds of marshmallow,
daydreaming across blue skies -
at complete peace, time is
irrelevant.
Tranquil euporhia within my heart -
I know I don't want to open my
eyes and watch it slip away.
This land is my home,
I am rooted
here.
Author notes
http://acidmelo.deviantart.com/art/green-54380671
Green
Picture Prompt Six -
Shoes
I saw this contest and looked at the prompts, when I saw this picture I had to write something. ^_^ This is just kinda personal, the image and colours lead me to my own memories of lying in my garden on blankets in the summer and I'd give anything to be back there...
In a list
A contest entry
- St.Patrick's Day Contest - WIN A GOLD MEMBERSHIP! by Kari.
2400 points, ended March 29, 19 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think?
Comments
1 - 73 of 73
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beautiful
beautiful poem.makes you want to go to another time an place -
....I can taste the freshness of
the grass on my tongue as I
breathe in sweet air.
Truly beautiful lass,
have no doubt your are a writer....
...at complete peace, time is
irrelevant.
There was a tranquil feel through out,
Stunning work.
Bless your heart
little gypsy,
Liam
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Beautiful. This calls up memories of my own which I hold on to and summon when I need them most. Thanks for sharing your wonderful talents.
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wow
this was well done..these two lines I really loved dear:
Fingers lightly touching the sun -
rays embracing skin.
I am adding you as favorite and invite you over to read and comment me.
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i love your poem it reminds me of when i would daydream when people would fight and yell i would go to a place in my mind and everything would be fine.
i really like this poem alot.
keep up the great work
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Lovely
This poem takes me to a peaceful place. It seems that was your mission.
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omg nice poem
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thank you for your words.
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Very simple, blissful, and peaceful. It gives a wonderful image of a perfect for one to desire.
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Thanks again for the comment
I really appreciate you taking the time to leave your thoughts.
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GORGEOUS!
WOW! What an astonishing poem! I really love the daydream concept, I'm all about fantasies. This was extremely mezmerizing. I love every bit of imagery you casted in this piece. And the wording is just remarkable. Exquisite write!
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Thank you very much for the comment on this piece
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good
I wish I could have personally related to this poem as well as you do. Great imagery. My favorite part was from "time is irrelevent" down. Though I could not relate specifically, I do feel this way about the water.
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Thank you for the comment this is actually a really personal piece and I appreciate your comment on it ^^
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You have such beautiful imagery in this poem. "This land is my home,
I am rooted
here."
What a perfect ending.
You are a great writer.
You did an awesome job with this poem. Keep up the great work.
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Thank you for the comment on this piece.
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Good job
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Very good
But like I tell most people on this site, I think you should experiment with meter to get a stronger effect out of your poems.
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thank you for the comment but with this piece I didn't want anything more than what I did with it. I like it how it is, but appreciate your thoughts
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Wonderfull job, the best of yours that I have read, so far....Your line...I can taste the freshness of the grass on my tongue as I breathe in sweet air..OK< you do know that this is so good, don't you? I hope so, because it is.Nice usage of metaphores and overall poem structure, as well. I enjpyed the style that you employed here. It pulled me into it, and won't let me go, and this a problem, because I have to go back to work...lol... Keep up the fine work. See ya around. Have a fine day.
Joh -
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thank you very much for the comment, I really appreciate you taking your time to read my work
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Hi hope that you had a good day,
John
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'rays embracing skin.'
Goosebumps causing, much?
Absolutely stunning.
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Not Bad
I can almost see what you discribe in your words.
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Wow, you totally did get much better.
Great write.
haha, happy now?
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Hahaha
xD yah, happy now thanks
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Better be.
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Good descriptions of the senses.
I liked the tasting freshness of the grass on your tongue. How many times have we experienced that sensation and not stopped to realize it. I surly will now.
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Thank you so very much for the comment It is much appreciated.
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wow
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Awesome!
This reminds me of my childhood. I truely dont see anything but praise for this poem!
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Thank you very much for the comment on this piece
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very good poem...takes people to their own special springy place! very awesome...love the last lines and the italization (if thats a word lol) of them! great write!
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Beautiful, loved the imagery and the marshmellow discription of the clouds. Well written. Blessings.
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Thank you very much for the comment
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it was just okay.
I read your 3 or 4 poems today
but it was just too much off
didnt like it truely
may be im upset, therefore
keep writing
by
the poet of hearts and beautiful words
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wonderful poem
wish Iwas there.............jax -
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thank you for the comment =)
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class act
took me back to sundays and the smell of fresh cut lawns. And loved the picture marsh mellow clouds.very nice
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thank you for your comment =)
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beautiful write...reminds me of when i'd sit in the grass and cloud glaze on those perfect spring days. thanks for that great read
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thank you very much for your comment ^^
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Makes me wish I were there!
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simple but great ! =D
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very soft
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very soothing nice write!
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cool poem, I love lines 3 and 4. it reminds me of being a kid and brilliant summertimes. I like the flow of this but find some of the line breaks to be not where i would put them, but thats not a bad thing, its cool. Nice write, and congratulations on the trophy x
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thank you for the comment ^^
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thank you very much for your comment =)
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Reminds me of back home in the green green fields we would play in for hours. The bug bites and cuts we would get was worth the time we spent playing in the grass. The big blue skies would open up and embrace us as we would play hide and seek for hours. Climbing the opine trees only to get all sticky from the sap. But all that was worth it in the end for when I was younger I was free of all the things I deal with now.
Great Write!!!
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I love it
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Thank you for the comment =D
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Tranquil thoughts, very nice progression from "fingers lightly touching" to "rays embracing." Delightful "clouds...daydreaming across blue skies."
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Thank you very much for the comment =)
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What beautiful imagery captured in so much emotion! A lovely trip to this land you call home was found through your words! Thank you....
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Thank you very much for your comment =)
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When I was young, I would lay in the grass and watch the clouds and daydream about everything.
Thank you for bringing that back to me. Very good poem!
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The line breaks seems unusually placed to me, upon first reading. Not to say that I do not like them.
I can tell it is personal.
Best of wishes
Mark -
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I didnt want the poem to have a very clear flow. I was just trying to work the personal image into this, the pauses are supposed to reflect the utter calm silence of not saying anything on those really lovely warm days with the cold breeze.... maybe i failed >: thanks for the comment anyhow =D
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Thanks for the clarification.
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There is no place like home...
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oooo,
yes! another score of a great poem.
this kinda reminded me of my home, so it struck me hard.
but in a good way, because you just made me love my home tons more.
amazing work. -
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Thank you very much for the comment =)
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Such a beautiful write. I also loved the emotion you have penned in it.
Thank you so much for your entry.
Gaylene
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Thank you for your comment =)
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Simply chilling in it's simplistic and marvelous spin on words, you've done very well and I wish you the best in your contest, it's a beautiful poem with even flow and brings peace and a vivid picture to the mind of what it is you're writing about.
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thank you for the comment =D hope you are well.
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It is so good to see such emotion through a simple picture. Your longing is clear from the words you've written. Great write.
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Thank you very mcuh for the comment =)
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I really like this one. I try hard not to do the "every poem I read is WONDERFUL', so, know that this is a very sincere...I really like it! I long for spring, summer...something other than winter..and these are also some of my favorite parts about those seasons....taste of grass, smell of rain...I love everything.
Great write... Thanks, you have just brightened up my cloudy day! -
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Thank you very much for the comment =)
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This reminds me of home. What a nice poem. It brought a smile to my face.
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Thanks a lot for your comment, much appreciated ^_^
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