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{P.a.I.N}

I /c/u/t/ the skin and watch myself b.l.e.e.d.

 d

   r

     i

      p

        p

          i

           n

             g

::glitter:: from my veins

 

You -t-o-r-e- out my ♥h♥e♥a♥r♥t♥

&& extinguished it like a   |c|i|g|a|r|e|t|t|e|

s

  t

    u

      b

        b

          e

            d

              ♦

                o

                  u

                    t

on my thigh

 

My t(f)ears disappear

into the |e m p t y   b o t t l e|   of my {s.o.u.l.}

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

     h   t   e   e

y.o.u..l.e.f.t..m.e..............s   a   t   r   d

 

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 13 of 13

  • Antebellum
    March 29

    Edit | Reply
    You -t-o-r-e- out my ♥h♥e♥a♥r♥t♥

    && extinguished it like a |c|i|g|a|r|e|t|t|e|

    s


    love this part!


  • Sugar Rush
    March 17

    Edit | Reply
    this really spoke to me.i felt close to the emotions. ur trying to pour out into the words.it almost made me cry


  • Kathraina silver member
    March 16
    Edit | Reply
    very strong piece with a lot of emotion


  • herrlurch
    March 9

    Edit | Reply
    Cool! I mean dirty pretty's not my cup of tea normally but I like how you included the typographic elements here. That's really fine.


  • SugarInducedSeizure
    March 9
    Edit | Reply
    I like....


  • Girl Mad As Birds
    March 9
    Edit | Reply
    Oh wow! I must admit, I haven't been a big fan of the dirty pretty style in the past but this is amazing!

    You -t-o-r-e- out my ♥h♥e♥a♥r♥t♥

    && extinguished it like a |c|i|g|a|r|e|t|t|e|


    Those lines are absolutely beautiful! I really look forward to seeing more of your work.

  • DecorusApparatus
    March 9
    Edit | Reply
    I'm not usually a fan of dirty pretty but you've done this quite nicely.
    Perhaps I won't avoid it so much in the future.
    Nice word choice I have to say, I liked lines like:
    "::glitter:: from my veins" and
    "My t(f)ears disappear".

    Keep it up, I would be interested to see more from you.

    --Katie ♥♥


  • soapbox99
    March 9

    Edit | Reply

    omfg omfg

    omg this is amazing you have opened my eyes to a whole new world of poetry you have changed my life. the e m p t y b o t t l e of my life is that little bit fuller thanks to you.

    • Chris-Rice
      March 9
      Edit | Reply
      Thankyou so much, I am glad that you could relate.

      Regards,

      Chris


  • Lime Ocarina
    March 9

    Edit | Reply
    Quite an extreme poem and I really enjoy the way it's layed out!
    I quite love the bit of
    "my t(f)ears disappear"
    It's simple and clever.
    Welcome to the site and good job!
    Best of luck!

    • Chris-Rice
      March 9
      Edit | Reply
      Thankyou very much, Phantom Lord Dean. I appreciate your honesty and applause.

      Kind regards,

      Chris


  • DramaQueen469 gold member
    March 9

    Edit | Reply

    Welcome to AllPoetry!

    You have done a great job of expressing your emotions here, my friend, and I'm glad to see that you have discovered contests already!
    Good luck with your writing, I hope you come to enjoy this site as much as I do. In the meantime, if you have any questions at all, please don't hesitate to come and find me!
    Best of luck, I look forward to reading more of your work.

    Maria

1 - 13 of 13