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Dis(e.a.s.e) reigns in b/r/o/k/e/n ♥hear†s♥

L.I.F.E

so  A  G R U

    D N E O  S

P-a-i-n coaleces

with r♦u♦b♦y tears

airbrushed movements

seem

S 

 H

  A

   T

    T

     E

      R

       E

        D                        as i

 

(d)(r)(o)(w)(n) b/e/f/o/r/e

 

 

 

                 Y.O.U

 

 

.~in a p.u.d.d.l.e marked e♥x♥p♥r♥e♥s♥s~.

Author notes

I tried to do dirtypretty... How'd I do?

A contest entry

Interesting?

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • Kathraina silver member
    March 16

    Edit | Reply
    I think you did awesome!
    This piece is very interesting indeed, I love the story told here.
    Bravo!


  • JulietteArielle
    March 12

    Edit | Reply
    for a first attempt this is pretty awesome! great job. i love the title, it really spoke to me, but i was kinda hoping you'd mention it again in th poem. but still, it's very good.


  • Catie Sheeran gold member
    March 10

    Edit | Reply
    "airbrushed movements" great write! this is amazing...not only did you get the dirty pretty thing down but your words are powerful and fluent. I love it




  • Jeremy0826 silver member
    March 9

    Edit | Reply
    You tried to do Dirty Pretty?
    More like you did do it and you did very
    well at that! Great job with this and I can't
    believe that this is your first time at it.
    All the best to you with it in this contest hon!




    Jeremy0826


  • GoodbyeFarewell
    March 9

    Edit | Reply

    wow

    i love how you wrote this i really like the style of writting here great job amazing write i love this really alot great job amazing write keep it up keep on going stay true stay sic peace out and have a nice day

1 - 5 of 5