A song hits and you wrap it
on sunlit dappled shoulders
declaring it so damn wrong
yet right for an afternoon
someone caught you sure-handed
strumming the fretted airstream
humming the lonesome blues
Now follow lines to a kite
rest eyes, untangle the tune
heartstrings combined with kite strings
heightens the rays and day moon
let's make an aerial dream
of newfangled warming Spring
a seven-string stretched between
Keyed to space wholly anew
So keep tethered your love
true flier, high tower you
not to such disparate tense strings
release with me, detach, swoon
in papered afternoon tunes
float among coloured balloons
touch tailed by bright noted skies
A contest entry
- Somebody said they saw me... by ErrantHeart.
1000 points, ended March 16, 2009, 10 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 23 of 23
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hi i really liked your poem, inspirational piece of work.
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Thanks for liking and reading, laura0757.
I'm building up to
write a sonnet- at some point.
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"Now follow lines to a kite
rest eyes, untangle the tune" <-- I love this part. beautiful metaphors and descriptions...very colorful and musical.
love this
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Catie, thank you for reading and commenting on my poem.
I didn't even get notification from AP that you had!
I also go through periods of not even looking at my own page.
Lately, I've just jotted a few things at the 'pub' and around
and about AP. I will surely return the favour.
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Impressive poem. It has a wonderful resonance, I leave, untethered and free, to soar the night sky in the restful arms of sleep. Well done
Mariana
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Thanks, Mariana.
I'll return the favour when I myself recover from work-induced exhaustion.
I shall be recovered and more lucid, then.
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beautiful. I like the images I got. You did a great job with this. "strumming the fretted airstream
humming the lonesome blues " those are my two favorite lines. Keep up the awesome work.
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Thank you, apoetslifeforme. Music inspires me to listen more. So mood based it is.
Thanks again for dropping by and commenting.
~Kley
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I sometimes find it hard to come up with words for a good comment.
I really liked this poem.
It brought to mind images of playfulness, which I believe is the roots of love.
The second stanza was my favorite.
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It is quite alright. I, too, have the same difficulties with commenting. lol
Playfulness is indeed the roots of love, and often overlooked.
Thanks for reading and liking this poem, Lala
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I love your slant rhyme, its really nice. I love this poem- it makes me feel kind of free. You know?!
Thank you for sharing this! -
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Thank you, Danielle 0917. It's nice to make someone feel good with words.
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nice
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Thanks, simply-broken.
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so welcome
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This is a delightful read. Many fine lines and a very nice flow that gently moves the eyes forward catching glimpses of the caring heart behind who buoys and guides and encourages free flight.
Thank you for entering. -
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Thank you, Errant. I love a good prompt. The harmonizing voices of that song helped the pen along. The seven syllables per line kept it a bit choppy at times, but I floated it by that ever-present poem eating tree... mostly. lol You are the hostess with the mostest, as always.
Thanks again. ~Kley
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always nice when the notes resonate
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Thanks, ea.
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beautiful.
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Thanks for reading, truetome.
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This is lovely.
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Thank you, Mercedes.
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