i heard

I Heard That He Died The Night That I, By Chance, Lay In Agony.

The night that was wasted its beauty
in realms beyond my suffering,
and it was a beautiful night,
it has passed over like our dearly missed friend
carrying him with.

Here, where i was hid
there was the odd occasional moment
when it broke through
what inexplicable pain was here,
a blessed moment or two
sublime and divine
in their existence
and we are together gestate within
this vast silent egg of existence.
'Dum Spiro, Spero'
Yes,
every sustained pull of air, far travelled air,
from accross potentially
vast
distances
every assimilation
of the mystery of the world
to which the song, in aspiration,
of sustained ideals, of recognition,
breaks out from the pith,
a salute like solar wind
reaching through
and around
all
in metaphysical glory.
This is where he is
and i know he just wants to get home.
We can capitule to a oneness despite
stirring inner voids and storming interiors,
shaken frozen worlds, causing the tremble
of capillarial feelings and
as this helpless and pulsing rythm,
this centrifugal dance,
this turgid flow,
continues
thus far.
Here in grief there is a pile of discarded moments
of disappointments and hopes awry
collated after peeling them off of me
under the cloy of them my heart sings
to the integrity of the unhewn face of existence,
thrills to it's own fatalism and
I feel now a pale purity of wan fears fading,
fading in their chagrin,
becoming that hope which forms futures and
encourages the brave self out
into an atmosphere of respect and awe;
the kind of awe which is not blind faith,
the kind of awe which has seen great truths proclaimed,
the code of great truths that lays upon the ground,
the metaphysical ground,
the bedrock.

Thinking of you and your children, being no stranger to grief. I hope you do not find this poem innappropriate, i hope it helps you touch him again.
Much love from veritable strangers,
Cheers,
Tanya-Cherie and children Theo Lunar and little Namaste.