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haiku (alone)





he seems so alone
until you see the stars
basking in his glow

Author notes

I know some will say it should be she. But sometimes I disagree.

In a list

A contest entry

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

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Comments

  • Susan E. Pennycuff
    July 13

    Edit | Reply
    I like this poem
    Not sure I understand your author notes, but hey the review has nothing to do with author notes so I am off the hook there... lol

    As for the poem...

    This really can carry more than one meaning and for me that makes it a very good poem. I can visualize this in a couple different ways... one is a child or man sitting on a beach all alone under a starry sky...

    The other is God ruling the world alone watching everyone at once with the help of all the stars.

    Best of luck in the contest

    Suzi


  • DogFish silver member
    June 19
    Edit | Reply
    A poem that stood me on my head!


  • Yemassee gold member
    March 16

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    I like this. I'm not sure it works for me as a haiku, but as a poem, I like the simple meaning. And true, it could work as "her" too. But that would alter that meaning I guess.

    Sometimes we have to look deeper to see the value of someone, or to see how important he is to others. Those are two ideas I glean from your poem. Thanks for entering.


  • Sandra R Reynolds gold member
    March 8
    Edit | Reply
    excellent